We Don't Open Anywhere Volume 1 Chapter 1
"I'll protect you with my magic."
As the 18th of May was becoming part of my
normal high school routine, those words changed my world.
The shoe rack was so old it clearly needed
replacing and was held together in several places with shoddily-placed packing
tape. I had gotten used to its musty odor over the past month, and as I took in
the moldy smell the hand picking up my loafers stopped in midair.
"Ex...cuse me?"
Although we had never spoken before, I could
tell from the graceful-looking girl's sailor uniform and red ribbon that she
was a fellow first-year. While her chestnut hair was done up with a red hair
band on the back of her head, it felt too short to truly call a ponytail. Her
features were reminiscent of a movie star, with a pet.i.te face, wide eyes, and
skin so white it seemed practically transparent. In contrast with my rather
una.s.suming stature, she was graced with such appeal that any who glimpsed her
around school would have practically no choice but to turn their head. She was
without a doubt the most gorgeous person I had met in my life.
"Oh right, I guess it would be pretty
confusing to be told out of the blue that you're being protected, huh!"
With a smirk, the girl I had just met began
slapping my shoulder in an overly-familiar manner. Even given our lack of
closeness, between her looks and her behavior I suspected that the majority of
people would feel comfortable around her.
"But you know, I couldn't just leave you on
your own like that. You basically don't have any, after all."
Her face grew serious as she said the
following.
"Magic resistance, that is."
That's not a phrase you hear every day.
My fifteen years of life up until this point
had left me woefully unprepared to respond to such a ridiculous proclamation,
so I had no choice but to stare dumbfounded at the one who voiced it.
To make matters worse, I'm shy. While my
friend Masato would disagree with that a.s.sessment, the fact that I had no idea
how to interact with people when meeting them for the first time was
indisputable. In any case, my head was still spinning as I futilely tried to
think of an appropriate response.
To that, the girl mumbled something to the
effect of "yup, he didn't even realize how low his magic resistance is,"
reaffirming her a.s.sessment of the situation.
In the face of such strange conduct, I finally
remembered the name of the character standing in front of me.
"Are you by any chance Miki Kouzuki?"
"The one and only!"
That I knew her name was unlikely to come as a
surprise to Kouzuki. It was only natural. She was famous, after all.
She was simply that attractive. Like many
beauties before her, as soon as she enrolled she caught the attention of male
students throughout the school. However, before long the ranks of suitors
quietly receded.
The cause was the circulation of a particular
rumor.
The rumor that the girl was delusional — a
self-proclaimed magus.
"So what's this 'magic resistance'?"
"Exactly what it sounds like. It's your
resistance against magic. How immune to magic you are. I wonder how you got that
way, though. Maybe there's something strange with your astral body?"
Oh look, she started saying something
undecipherable.
"...And what on earth is magic?"
"Huh? Hiiragi, you haven't heard of magic?
Haven't you ever played a video game?"
Somehow or other it seemed she knew my name as
well.
"No, what I'm asking is—"
What is the real-world concept that you're
referring to as "magic"?
...Or, that was what I was going to ask, but I
stopped myself mid-sentence. If the rumors that she believed herself to be a
magus were true, asking that question would cause the conversation to quickly
grow awkward. After all, that phrasing would be virtually the same as rejecting
the concept of magic outright. After thinking for a moment, I decided to ask a
different question.
"Who exactly can use magic? Are you able to?"
"Oh, anyone can use magic. Whether or not they
realize it, everyone uses magic all the time. Obviously, I'm no exception."
"I don't recall ever using magic, though…"
"Like I said, you just don't realize it. In
our world, even really strong magi sometimes don't realize their own
abilities."
"Is that... so…"
It seems she was… the real deal. It felt like
it would take some time before I could figure out how to interact with her.
"Yup. Just as I suspected, Hiiragi, you have a
talent for magic."
I had no idea what the basis for that
a.s.sessment was, but as she said it the corners of her mouth turned upwards
happily.
"Didn't you just say that I had no magic
resistance or something?"
"That's exactly why you're talented! There
isn't a direct causal relationship, but it's really easy for a person like that
to become a magus if they spend time around another magus."
"Huh…"
"Even an unenthusiastic response like that is
okey-dokey! I get the feeling you have no idea what I'm talking about, but
that's fine! I'll teach you magic, starting from some super-basic runes! Once
you start getting some hands-on experience, you should start picking it up like
that!"
I still had no idea how to respond, so for the
time being I just set the loafers I had been holding for some time on the
floor.
"Come to think of it, I haven't properly
introduced myself yet, huh. I'm Miki Kouzuki from cla.s.s 1-3. Nice to meet you~"
"...I'm Kouta Hiiragi from cla.s.s 1-2."
"Oh, I know. Nice to meet you!"
With a carefree smile, Kouzuki presented her
hand.
When I naturally responded in kind, Kouzuki
clasped my hand tightly as if refusing to let it escape. Between the sensation
of her soft hand against mine and her charming smile, I could feel my heart
pounding in my chest.
You could hardly blame me, right? If not for
her comments about magic and such, Kouzuki's beauty would be sure to make her
popular even within her own s.e.x.
"...Is it ok if I go now, Kouzuki?"
"Oh, that won't do. Please, call me by my
first name. A nickname would do too."
I'd never before called a woman by either
their first name or a nickname. Was my first time going to be taken in this
girl who I'd met through the conversational equivalent of a fender-bender?
...It was, wasn't it. I was the type of person
who tended to go with the flow.
"Given names are similar to incantations, you
see. Calling someone by their last name generates magic too. If we do that,
we'll be cursed to never quite be friends. With me so far?"
I was in fact not with her. All I was picking
up was she didn't want me to call her by her last name. But that would have to
be good enough.
"Miki, then?"
"Hmm… it still feels a bit off… but I guess
it just barely pa.s.ses muster. As for you, Kouta, I guess you'd probably be
opposed to having a girl suddenly talk to you too familiarly. We can get to
that point gradually."
It seemed she was capable of at least that
level of forethought.
"Now then, could you give me your phone number
and LINE ID?"
As instructed, I exchange contact information
with her. Under normal circ.u.mstances, this might look like something to be
envious of. But while it might seem that way on the surface, it's a different
matter when the other party is the kind of troublemaker who would call
themselves a magus. That's the conclusion I arrived at.
While putting on pretense of indifference,
Kouzuki asked me this without taking her eyes from the phone screen:
"Kouta, you think of yourself as pretty
normal, right?"
Of course.
"Because you aren't. Magic aside, even now you
seem out of place."
"I mean, people say that I'm unambitious…"
"This is on a whole 'nother level, though."
I had no intention of getting any more
involved than I already was, so this line of discussion held no interest for
me. After I registered the user with the handle "Magus" as a friend on LINE, I
a.s.sumed that the conversation had reached its conclusion, so I finished putting
on my loafers.
"Umm, can I leave now?"
"Oh, hold on a sec. I left my bag in the
cla.s.sroom, so let me go grab it real quick."
As my mouth hung open like a dunce, Kouzuki
flashed a mischievous smile.
"I'm leaving with you, of course. Didn't I
just say that I would protect you?"
As she said that, she nudged my shoulder
innocently.
And that was how my first time going home from
school with a girl, which I had been eagerly looking forward to since the
moment I enrolled, was stolen by a self-proclaimed magus.
The following day, Friday the 19th.
It was morning, just before homeroom. I leaned
back in my chair, exhausted from my unusual experience the day before. Getting
to know new people always tends to wear me out, but when that person happened
to not only be a beautiful, high-spirited girl but also a self-proclaimed magus
I suspect nearly anyone would be drained afterwards.
As I lifted my head from my desk, I could see
chalk dust falling from the rim of the blackboard and fluttering throughout the
cla.s.sroom. It gets cleaned every day, so it's probably just my imagination, but
this ancient, not-up-to-code building seemed oddly dark and dusty.
I recounted the previous day's strange events
to my friend, who was sitting in the seat in front of me with his head on his
desk. After halfheartedly listening to my tale, he said this once I finished.
"Normally ya'd just
a.s.sume she has the hots for ya, Kou."
With his eyes half-closed, Masato Yahara
lazily gave me a blunt response. Blunt as it was, though, it seemed he had
taken interest in my story. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have even bothered
replying.
At our traditionalist high school, Masato's bleached
brown hair and perm were in clear violation of the dress code. And his
transgressions didn't stop there; he also regularly smoked and shoplifted. On
looks alone it wouldn't be strange if he were a member of a certain well-known
idol group, but his att.i.tude revealed a level of delinquency such that none of
the other student would dare get near him.
"But Miki isn't exactly normal, right?"
"You ain't wrong; that chick's f.u.c.ked up in
the head. You sure she's not just gonna kill you as some ritual sacrifice?"
He laughed cynically. But I was used to this
personality of his.
"Kill me? It's not like she's you or
anything."
"I don't f.u.c.kin' get it. She's gotta
have some ulterior motive. If she was normal, I could chalk it up to a
sad attempt to get your attention, but that's not necessarily the case with
her. Whatever she wants to do to you, it might be something completely out of
left field."
Masato jabbed me with his thumb.
"But even though you get the same feeling,
you're not going to be able to turn her down, are ya."
I couldn't deny it. I was non-confrontational
by nature, after all.
"Hey, may as well make the best of it, right?
h.e.l.l, if nothing else, you'll be able spend your adult life bragging that you
spent your high school days hanging out with a hot chick."
As it didn't directly affect him, Masato's
advice might seem rather irresponsible.
However, he was rarely off the mark when it
came to stuff like this. He had a good head on his shoulders, and his hunches
tended to be astute. Although most what came out of his mouth was extreme, if
you ignored his generally dubious manner of speaking what you were left with
was fairly insightful.
A sacrifice, huh.
It was scary how plausible that seemed.
As I buried my head in my arms, Masato
suddenly dropped his gaze from me, and muttered,
"Ahh… I wanna kill someone."
This was something of a catchphrase of his.
Whenever there was a lull in the conversation, he would murmur this as if he
were remembering something. Although it wasn't exactly a praiseworthy habit, if
I paid him any heed it would likely just drive a rift between us.
"Still, for her to make a move on you without
even knowing you… looks like our girl Miki Kouzuki's oddity puts the rumors to
shame. Just talking about magic's one thing, but the kind of person
who'd graduate to actually doing something ain't exactly a dime a
dozen."
"You know, the two of you are weird in oddly
similar ways."
"Kouzuki and I are?"
Masato frowned, then pondered for a moment.
But before long, he replied with an uncharacteristically serious expression.
"Nah, we aren't."
"You're not?"
"We just aren't. In fact, we'd probably get
along like cats and dogs."
I didn't quite follow, but given Masato's
intuitive prowess I had no reason to doubt him.
As our conversation wound down, the morning
bell began to ring. Although our school had a bell that signaled that homeroom
would begin shortly, I'd never seen it have much effect on the other cla.s.ses.
Until the moment the homeroom teacher walked in the door, the students would
generally continue chatting and milling about.
But our cla.s.s was different.
"Everyone, note that the bell has rung. I
would appreciate it if you took your seats."
The cla.s.s representative, Shuuichi Akiyama,
issued an order. Although the rest of the cla.s.s balked at the prospect of
accepting direction from a fellow student, they didn't feel it was an issue
worth fighting over and quickly fell in line. That was simply how our cla.s.s
operated.
Masato hated that arrangement from the bottom
of his heart.
"h.e.l.l, if it gets down to it, our relationship
might become like mine and that f.u.c.ker's."
"Like yours and the cla.s.s rep's? No way."
Masato and Akiyama were on poor terms.
Although delinquents and honor students seldom got along well, it was common
for the two groups to intentionally avoid interacting and to simply ignore the
other.
But these two were constantly at each other's
throats, making their disdain for the other clear.
Let's turn the clock back a month to April
19th for a moment. Much like today, Akiyama took it upon himself to act in the
teacher's stead, to which Masato vehemently resisted. Slamming his desk to
drive his point home, Masato declared, in a voice dripping with contempt:
"You make me f.u.c.kin' sick."
I, along with the rest of the cla.s.s, froze. To
be completely honest, the rest of us also found something about Akiyama a
little bit off-putting. However, his actions were objectively exemplary, so
n.o.body could find reason to reproach him. We had no legitimate reason to be
cautious around him.
But Masato simply gave voice to his revulsion,
offering no reasoning. I would be lying if I said I didn't find it a little
refreshing, but Masato had clearly taken it too far.
Normally, an honor student like Akiyama would
be unused to such violent outbursts. I was certain that Akiyama would be
frightened and atrophy in the face of such a verbal blow.
Which is why I was more surprised by Akiyama's
response than by Masato's outburst.
"And what of it, may I ask?"
Rather than falter, Akiyama struck back
defiantly. I was half concerned that Masato would lose his temper and the
argument would devolve into a fistfight.
But instead of leaping at Akiyama, Masato just
muttered "go figure" to himself with a disdainful look on his face. Unlike the
rest of us, it seemed he antic.i.p.ated Akiyama's response. Glaring at Akiyama
with eyes that gave the sense they were gazing at filth, Masato ended his
tirade with "You're beyond help," and returned to his seat without causing any
more commotion. Fortunately, things hadn't gotten out of hand.
For his part, although he said no more,
Akiyama was able to clearly convey his contempt for the delinquent Masato. But
because Masato didn't press the issue further, neither did he.
From that point on, their relationship had
been akin to a lit powder keg.
"Akiyama and I are like opposites."
Casting a sidelong glance at Akiyama, Masato
smiled contemptuously.
"In what way?"
"Y'know, one of us desires chains, the other
rejects them."
I tilted my head in puzzlement.
"Don't worry about it. h.e.l.l, don't even think
about it. No good'll come of you overworking that poor brain of yours."
"Are you calling me stupid?"
"Stupid is as stupid does, Kou. Just try to
empty out that head of yours."
"You're awful."
Although he says that, I know he doesn't
actually hate me. I'm so used to it that it doesn't even bother me anymore.
"Well, for now you should probably figure out
how to dodge Kouzuki's weird-a.s.s solicitations. You know she's probably gonna
come after you again, right?"
Just as Masato predicted, Miki made her way to
our cla.s.sroom just as fourth period ended. Entering an unfamiliar cla.s.sroom is
often cause for nervousness, but I didn't pick up on any whatsoever from Miki.
"Welp, let's get going!"
Grasping my hand, Miki gave it a tug. I didn't
need an explanation to see that she had no intention of letting me refuse.
I could feel the collective gaze of my
cla.s.smates boring down on me. I couldn't blame them. Her reputation as an
eccentric aside, Miki Kouzuki was widely hailed as the cutest girl in our
school. Yet someone like that was calling my name and grasping my hand, even
though I had no notable characteristics to my name other than my relationship
with Masato.
"H...hold on a second!"
If I put myself at her mercy, I would no doubt
find myself the victim of my peers' boundless curiosity. My peaceful life would
be shattered.
Planting myself in place, I stopped Miki.
"Don't get all rebellious with me, Kouta! I'm
doing this whole bodyguard thing for free, you know. The least you could do is
be a little more obedient."
"At least explain what you're planning on
doing with me!"
"I called for you during lunch, so isn't it
obvious that we're going to eat together? Use your head! It's because you're
like that that you don't have any magic resistance."
For some reason, she scolded me in earnest.
I felt that I should be the one scolding her
for her audacity and lack of common sense, but I suspected that my reb.u.t.tal
would fall on deaf ears. I could almost picture it.
Releasing my hand for a moment, Miki pulled
out two picturesque yellow lunchboxes and displayed them to me proudly.
"Behold, two lunchboxes made personally by my
cute self! Consider yourself lucky!"
"Well, I guess it would be hard to argue that
you aren't cute..."
Upon hearing this, Miki put both hands on her
cheeks and displayed a bashful expression.
"He called me cute! C'mon, I promise they
taste good."
She pounded on my back exuberantly. She's
making a racket, and her acting sucks. Given her reaction, she must be completely
used to being called cute.
"Let's go to the courtyard!"
I could no longer muster the energy to resist
Miki, who had begun pulling me along once more. My cla.s.smates' inquisitive eyes
were no doubt still on me, but... oh, whatever. Peace at any price, right?
Masato, who was watching us out of the corner
of his eye, made no move to lend me a.s.sistance, instead just putting on the
same cynical grin as always and gently waving me goodbye.
Although it was in fact a courtyard, it wasn't
the type of place you could easily envision students gathering or eating lunch
at. It was simply a poorly-maintained lawn with a few apologetic-looking
shrubs, without even so much as a bench to its name. As a result, the two of us
were alone aside from the occasional pa.s.serby.
Ours was a rural public high school that often
used tradition as an excuse to avoid change and fundamentally rejected the idea
of a vibrant adolescence. Both the courtyard and the old-fashioned building
served to bore us into submission.
The clearest symbol of that was the uniforms.
Despite being widely regarded as unfashionable by the students, our school
still used black gakuran and black sailor uniforms of old.
Clearly in a bubbly mood, Miki laid a sheet
she had brought on the unkempt lawn and took a seat. I followed suit.
"Is eating lunch together part of my becoming
a magus too?"
"Yeah, pretty much. That's about right."
By eating her homemade lunch, I could become a
magus.
When I put it like that, the causal
relationship felt a little dubious. I unconsciously let out a sigh.
"Are you going to make me eat lizard tails or
something?"
"What are you talking about? This isn't a
Witches' Sabbath or anything like that, you know."
I wanted to ask what exactly a Witches'
Sabbath was, but I realized that if I got hung up on everything she said
our conversation would go nowhere.
"Of course, I don't really expect you to
believe me when I say that eating lunch together will help you become a magus."
Pouting a little, Miki pa.s.sed me one of the
boxes. Upon opening the lid, I found... well, to be frank, everything inside
looks perfectly innocuous. Nothing inside seemed to be magic-related, nor did
anything seem like it was made with a loved one in mind. It was, all in all, an
extremely normal lunch.
How anticlimactic.
"Hey, let me guess what you're thinking right
now!"
Miki brought her face close to mine as if
investigating something.
"Be my guest."
"You're thrilled at the prospect of eating a
cute girl's homemade lunch!"
"What? That's completely off. I was just
thinking how anticlimactic it was."
"You're awful!"
Although now that she mentioned it, eating a
girl's homemade lunch was a part of adolescence I had been looking forward to.
Miki had stolen yet another of my firsts.
"But being able to speak your mind like that is
a step in the right direction! Keep it up, keep it up!"
For some reason, I was being encouraged.
Her wide eyes gazed straight into mine as she
spoke. That was probably how she truly felt.
If that's how seriously she was taking this, I
felt that I should do my part to understand this whole magic thing.
"In that case, I'll ask you... you see, I'm a
little confused. I don't really understand what you mean when you say 'magic'.
After all, even though you sometimes borrow their terminology, your magic isn't
exactly like the stuff you'd find in fantasy novels, right?"
The whole time I was talking, Miki continued
watching me with those large round eyes of hers. Feeling uncomfortable, I
dropped my gaze.
"I don't really understand it, but I can't
just unconditionally accept it. At this rate, I might not ever be able to use
magic."
Miki was listening to me earnestly.
Upon hearing my denial of magic, would she
take offence?
But Miki's disposition didn't sour. She
quietly pierced a piece of freezer-aisle karaage with her fork.
"You know, I've been dragging you around and
saying some pretty confusing things. I'm the reason you're so confused. I have
at least that much self-awareness."
My eyes still downcast, she spoke again.
"Do you hate me for that?"
In response, I quickly shook my head.
"I mean, you're doing it all with good
intentions, right?"
Miki's eyes widened slightly as if in
surprise.
"You understood that?"
"Yeah."
"Even though I was saying cryptic things, like
that I'd protect you from magic or that I'd be your bodyguard?"
"Yeah."
"There's no way I was really conveying my good
intentions by doing stuff like that..."
This time it was my turn to be surprised.
"So, you did realize you were being
cryptic..."
If she realized how odd she was being,
couldn't she have just acted more normally in the first place? If she was
afraid that I would come to hate her, wouldn't it make sense to try getting to
know me more normally?
"Well, 'cuz... it's like this. I had to take a
gamble. The way I saw it, you were really in danger; someone else could have
done you in with magic in the blink of an eye. That's why I was in such a rush
- I had to, like, get really close to you as quick as possible so you'd trust
me."
"And that's why you were walking home with me
and making me lunch and stuff?"
"Yup. But you see, I knew you wouldn't reject
me. Given your lack of magic resistance, I was confident I could get away with
a little bit of coercion."
"You mean people without magic resistance are
back at rejection?"
"Hmm... it's not like that's a rule or
anything, but that's generally how it turns out. Once the two of us have a
strong bond of mutual trust, by that point you'll already be a splendid magus.
Once you get to that point, you'll be able to protect yourself from other
people's magic."
There was no way that was the whole truth.
However, I was pretty sure Miki wasn't saying
it halfheartedly. I could tell how serious and earnest she was being.
Although I still wasn't fully clear as to what
Miki's brand of magic entailed, I got the feeling that it had a strongly
grounded concept. If that was the case, I had to deal with it as sincerely as
possible.
"You really are Kouta, aren't you."
Peering at my face, Miki laughed happily.
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, nothing... Hey, that's right! We still
haven't eaten yet!"
I was puzzled, but we wouldn't make any
progress if I questioned every little thing she did or said. So I did as
prompted and began to eat my lunch.
The lunch had a notably brown hue, and an
ordinary pair of chopsticks were bundled along with it. Looking at it, it was
obvious the creator wasn't used to cooking. And most of the items were
store-bought. Well, it looked edible, if nothing else.
"Oh no... this is terrible..."
Miki, who was sitting beside me and picking at
the same a.s.sortment of side dishes, clutched the sides of her head.
"I... think it's pretty average, don't you?"
"...Sorry. I messed up. You see, I'm actually
pretty handy, and I can do most things pretty well. But this is... man, these
carrots are too firm... and half of this is undercooked... Oh geez, I'm really
sorry."
"Couldn't you use magic to make it better?"
"Excuse me? Are you just trying to pick a
fight with me like that? You're picking a fight, aren't you?"
Grabbing my shoulder, she started shaking me
back and forth. My head rattled from side to side. Miki seemed to find this
amusing, and with a grin on her face refused to stop.
"You two look like you're having a blast, for
a couple of freshman s.h.i.tstains."
With a start, Miki turned to face the source
of the malice-filled voice.
Sauntering towards us was a third year with
long blond hair and dark roots. Although his fashion sense immediately outed
him as a delinquent, his degeneracy didn't seem nearly as refined as Masato's.
I quickly discerned that what set him off was seeing an una.s.suming guy like me
eating lunch with a world-cla.s.s girl like Miki.
The long-haired blond, who by now was beside
us, looked down at Miki with the vulgar eyes of a small-time brute.
"Now that I look atcha up close, you're
h.e.l.la f.u.c.kin' hot."
"...Thank you."
"Hey, wanna go for a drive with me next
Sunday? I just got my license, so I wanna hit the road."
"I appreciate your kind invitation.
Unfortunately, I'm afraid I'm busy that day."
Putting on a sweetly smile, Miki
diplomatically declined. I was impressed that someone as audacious as her could
respond like that.
Although the long-haired blond initially
narrowed his eyes in irritation, as he continued casting his viscous gaze at
Miki, a crude smile began to slowly dance around his lips.
"Man, normally this is where I'd back
off, but... You're so d.a.m.n hot I just can't. I think I've
fallen for ya already. f.u.c.k, man, you gotta go out with me!"
Upon hearing this, Miki's poker face broke
down for the first time, and she grimaced.
"C'mon, you can't just leave a guy hangin'
like that! ...Oh, that reminds me. You mind if I switch topics for a
sec? You wouldn't think a guy like me would give a s.h.i.t, but I actually
can't f.u.c.kin' stand people who disrespect public morals. I'm always thinkin'
about how I wanna stamp guys like that out. It's like, uh, one of those
world peace-type things."
Although he was clearly violating several
school regulations himself, he continued his speech.
"So the other day, right, I see these
two second-years named Takahashi and Shinjou gettin' it on after cla.s.s. Man, my
sense of justice flared up like you wouldn't f.u.c.king believe. The campus is
sacred, ya know, you can't just go dirty it up by having s.e.x here! And I'm
like, I can't just sit here and watch this. So I was thinkin',
the best thing to do would be to get them to break up. That s.h.i.t's what they
call an illicit s.e.xual relationship, man. So I brought over a couple of
my buddies and we broke them up. But chicks are like, they can't bear it if
they don't have a boyfriend, right? I felt super bad for her. Me and my
buddies were worried Shinjou'd be all lonely, so to prevent that we decided to
take turns being her lover. Well, until we got bored of her body, at least."
This was bad. I may have called him a
small-time brute, but it looked like I had underestimated his deviancy.
And unfortunately, I was a far cry from some
protagonist who could easily take down a small fry; I was Student A, who was at
his wit's end at the mere sight of a delinquent.
"I'm like a demon who uphold the public
morals. Looks like I might have to do the same thing here, huh."
"Well... the two of us weren't doing anything
untoward."
Although her reply was stout-hearted, Miki's
voice was trembling. It seemed that she too could do nothing but tremble, no
matter how unrefined this delinquent's brand of violence was.
"I guess you're right. Well, I
can let off the hook for becoming my lover this time. But ya gotta at least
spend an evening with me. If you don't, I get the feeling that your
boyfriend there won't be able to make it to school any more... So, let me ask
again."
Having established just how dangerous he was,
the long-haired blond asked again.
"You'll go for a drive with me, won'tcha?"
"...If you insist."
Miki answered him expressionlessly.
When I looked at her face, she was smiling.
"Don't worry about me, Kouta. I'm a magus, I'm
sure I can manage."
There's no way that was true. If she could use
magic to do something about this situation, she would have done so already. And
there's no way she would be trembling so much.
"Oh yeah, I should clear it with your
boyfriend. We all good?"
"I'm thinking."
Frowning, I crossed my arms.
"By the way, is it really true that you want
to make friends with Miki?"
"Hah?"
"I understand the desire to fulfill your
s.e.xual desires, I really do. I understand how strongly a person would want to
have s.e.x with a cute girl. But... if we compare how much you do want to
to how much Miki doesn't want to, Miki's desire not to is stronger.
That's the way I see it. So I'd really rather you didn't."
For some reason, the long-haired blond seemed
taken aback.
"The f.u.c.k is this kid talking about?"
You asked "we all good?", so I answered.
That's all there is to it...
It was clearly my job to stop him. Although I
had only just met Miki, she was taking action on my behalf. But if I tried to
oppose him with violence, I would just be met in kind and thoroughly
outcla.s.sed. I had to consider retribution, as well. So what options did I have
left?
For some reason, Masato's catchphrase sprung
to mind.
I wanna
kill someone.
"Ryuusuke Yamazaki."
I then heard a voice that belonged to the same
person the catchphrase did. Although he wasn't raising his voice, I could hear
it from somewhere above me.
When I looked up, I could see Masato staring
at us expressionlessly from the second-floor hallway window.
Masato pointed at me and spoke succinctly.
"He's with me."
Succinct as it was, that was sufficient for
the blond, who was apparently named Yamazaki, to display an uncomfortable look
on his face.
"...Hey, Yahara. Didn't know this
capybara-lookin' kid was a friend of yours. It's not like I was tryin'
to pick a fight with a buddy of yours or nothin'."
"Uh huh."
With a bored look on his face, Masato wandered
away from the window.
Yamazaki was a vicious delinquent who casually
terrorized the rest of the student body. But in spite of this, he seemed unable
to turn on Masato despite the latter being a first-year.
It seemed I had unintentionally made friends
in high places.
Scratching his head and frowning, Yamazaki
whispered in my ear.
"If Masato's sticking up for you, does that
mean you're the 'manager' I've heard so much about? Are you in the
middle of 'stocking up'?"
I had no
idea what he was talking about.
"Well, no
skin off my back. If you get any cute girls in, send 'em my way, wouldja?"
Giving my
back a firm thump, Yamazaki quickly strode off.
I turned
to face Miki.
"Kouta."
Rather
than being relieved, Miki stared intently at my face. I had never seen her look
this scared.
"I thought
I understood, but you really are... Kouta, aren't you. You're really just see
things the way they are."
That's...
unlike her previous statements about "magic resistance," that's a little easier
to understand.
"Look, I
know he saved us this time around. And I'm sorry, but there's something I have
to say."
Miki
peered into my eyes.
"Please
don't spend any more time around that guy. I'd like you to also avoid that
Yamazaki guy from just now, and a second-year named Matsumi too."
I had no
intention of breaking ties with Masato, so for now I just nodded.
But as if
picking up on my noncommittal response, Miki heaved a heavy sigh.
"I really
do need to protect you."
Protect.
Let's
suppose for a moment that magic really was something capable of protecting me.
Let's suppose it's something that could enrich my life.
Even if
that's the case, there's something I can't tell Miki.
I couldn't
really care less.
I
couldn't care less what happens to me.
I can't
really remember how I got to know Masato. We sat near each other in cla.s.s, and
before I knew it we were regularly chatting.
But I
didn't spend time with him outside of school. We never hung out together, and
we didn't chat on the phone. If we got put into different cla.s.ses, it's
entirely possible we would stop interacting altogether. Barring that, even not
sitting near each other might be enough to put a halt to our conversations.
But once,
I think it was about two weeks ago? He called me to a park near my home at one
in the morning.
Masato
wouldn't tell me, so I didn't know what was going on, but when I got there I
was startled by how haggard he seemed. I got the impression that it didn't
matter who, he just needed someone to talk to.
Atop a
rusting jungle gym with an out-of-order sign plastered on it, the two of us
held a rather aimless conversation. After glancing at the "no b.a.l.l.s allowed"
sign, the out-of-order vending machine, and the rather unenticing public
restroom for the dozenth time, Masato gave an obviously fake laugh and quipped,
"This f.u.c.king place is less a park and more of a cesspit."
Atop the
jungle gym, Masato took a drag from his cigarette as he toyed with a b.u.t.terfly
knife. Although he was a minor, he was no stranger to cigarettes, beer, and
occasionally even harder drugs. However, he never offered me any. And even when
he was engaging in such antisocial practices, he showed not a glimpse of
enjoyment but the same bored expression as always.
The moon
was so full that night I thought it might perhaps be a supermoon, and its
illumination was clearly making Masato uncomfortable.
"Kou,
whaddya see what you look up at the moon?"
I answered
automatically.
"A
rabbit."
"You're
just saying that 'cause everyone else does, right? Let's be real, it doesn't
even look that much like a f.u.c.king rabbit."
He was
totally right. Looking back up at the moon again, I completely agreed.
"So what
do you see?"
I
generally tried to avoid answering questions like this, as I inevitably got
mocked for my lack of imagination.
"To be
blunt, the moon doesn't look like much of anything to me."
"Whaddya mean?"
"I mean, I
can't really see the craters as anything but craters."
But rather
than mock me for my entirely mockable answer, Masato looked almost impressed.
"Huh, so
that's your angle."
Seeming
pleased, he lit another cigarette.
"Makes
sense. h.e.l.l, if anything it's weirder to a.s.sign meaning to s.h.i.t like that."
I wasn't
sure what he was so pleased about.
To fill
the lull in the conversation, I asked a question of little import.
"Masato,
why do you act like a delinquent?"
"You're a
cheeky little b.a.s.t.a.r.d. Normally if you asked a delinquent that, they'd beat you
senseless."
But Masato
gave me a serious answer.
"I
just didn't know a way to resist it."
It wasn't
a very concrete answer. But I could tell that Masato himself didn't have
anything firmer.
The
conversation died down again, so I asked the next question that came to mind as
I gazed upwards.
"What does
the moon look like to you, Masato?"
Furrowing
his brow, Masato tossed his cigarette aside.
"Whenever I
look up, I get uneasy. Even though I know I can't reach
it, I wanna smash it. So on bright nights like these, I always
just look at my feet."
He put a
new cigarette in his mouth and lit it.
"Feels
like there's a monster baring its fangs above me."
Wrenching
his face in despair, Masato whispered as if he were spitting out a mouthful of
blood.
"Ahh... I
wanna kill someone."
"It's been
a while since we walked home together, Masato."
We hadn't
planned it ahead of time. But our houses were in the same direction, and we
were both in the so-called going home club, so we occasionally found ourselves
walking together. The reason it had been so long was due to a certain magus
attaching herself to my hip.
By the
way, the magus in question had been invited somewhere today by her friend
Sayuri, who apparently wouldn't take no for an answer. Although I was surprised
that Miki was able to make friends at all in the face of her blatant audacity,
it turned out she was actually on good terms with most of the girls in her
cla.s.s. Of course, this was self-reported, so I had no way of confirming whether
it was true or not.
By the
way, when I expressed my surprise at the size of her friend group, Miki got
rather indignant. She then went on an incomprehensible lecture about how
maintaining the unstable bonds of female friendship was part of magic's
wheelhouse or something. Well, her communication skills were exceptional, so
perhaps it wasn't so strange after all.
"You're
thinking about that chick again, aren'tcha. You're f.u.c.king engrossed."
"Kinda."
"You're
supposed to deny it, man, I'm just f.u.c.king with you."
After
letting him know that I had, in fact, been thinking about her, Masato gave off
a sigh while smirking.
"Go figure."
Without
breaking his smirk, Masato continued.
"Ya know,
that magus freak told me to stay away from you the other day."
"Really?
Miki did?"
Masato's
eyes reflected their a.s.sent.
"I told
you, right? Kouzuki and I will never get along. She f.u.c.king hates me."
That
reminded me. Miki had told me to stop spending time with Masato.
"Are you
sure you didn't just make fun of magic or something?"
"I
might've."
"C'mon!"
"But this
and that don't have jack s.h.i.t to do with each other. She just can't stand the
two of us being around each other."
The word
"jealousy" sprung to mind, but Miki had really just been one-sidedly meddling
in my affairs.
All she
could think about was magic.
"I guess
you being around me gets in the way of her plan to make me into a magus?"
"That's
pretty much on the mark."
I was
surprised at Masato's matter-of-fact answer.
"Wait, do
you understand what she means by 'magic'? Is that why you can tell why she
hates you?"
Masato's
brows furrowed.
"Hmm...
it's not like I understand it per se. But us not being able to see
eye-to-eye shakes out to about the same thing."
"I'm not
sure I follow."
"I
mean, you're starting to get an idea of what her magic is, right? She's been
dragging you around for two d.a.m.n weeks now."
"...Sort
of."
"Vaguely" was about the level my understanding
capped out at.
It was just like translating English into
j.a.panese; coming up with a word to describe magic was difficult. But I could
tell by now that it wasn't "sorcery" or "witchcraft".
As far as I could tell, the kind of magic Miki
was talking about generally referred to something along the lines of
"imposition of notions."
But it wasn't just brainwashing, where you
could impose things forcibly. Things like daily habits and cultural norms,
where they took root before you even noticed, were also included in her
definition of magic. Miki's vision of a magus was likely someone who could
freely manipulate the notions of others. When she said I didn't have any magic
resistance, what she meant was that I was in danger because my notions would
change so readily.
But I couldn't understand what made people
without magic resistance better at becoming magi. I didn't see why spend time
around Masato would keep me from becoming one, either. I felt like there was
still quite a bit to magic that I didn't understand.
"Quit thinkin'."
Speaking rudely, Masato lightly jabbed my
solar plexus.
"No
good'll come of a dumba.s.s thinking too hard."
"Surely there's a kinder way to put that."
Masato tilted his head with a playful look on
his face. But just as I was thinking that, his expression grew grave.
"Honestly, some of the stuff Kouzuki's talkin'
about has merit. Even I'd rather you go be a happy-go-lucky magus freak
than a homicidal delinquent."
"What? I mean, I'd really rather not become
either..."
I responded with a light-hearted joke, but
Masato's intense expression didn't fade.
"Well, if you don't think about it too much
you can probably stay just the way you are."
"Kusukusu...kusukusukusu..."
We heard a peculiar laugh that sounded as if
someone were exhaling through a gap in their teeth.
The two of us turned our heads. Behind us
stood a short girl. Her jet-black hair hung down in braids in the back, with
her bangs were cut at a diagonal slant. I could infer from her sailor uniform's
green ribbon that she was a second-year. While that meant that she was older
than us, her childlike face gave off a very different impression. That,
combined with her innocent expression, would have led me to believe in an
instant if I were told she was a grade-schooler. Upon closer inspection,
though, her bust was large enough to leave a thoroughly immoral impression.
But her most notable characteristic was her
peculiar eyes. Although they were as just as black as her hair, they seemed
somehow out of focus and were oddly reminiscent of a rainbow.
"You two are quite interesting."
There was n.o.body else around, so it seemed the
unfamiliar uppercla.s.sman was addressing us.
"h.e.l.lo."
With the expression of a pleased child, she
gave a quick bow. I returned the greeting.
"...Masato, do you know her?"
Pulling a wry face, Masato shook his head.
"Kusukusu... you really are
interesting!"
Her smile was innocent. But it was strange. In
fact, it was so innocent it was unsettling.
"Whaddya want?"
Masato spit out the question in his usual
aggressive manner, but the uppercla.s.sman showed no sign of fear. Nor did she
even seem to mind. It seemed like she was a bit slow when it came to
interpreting other people's emotions.
"Oh, Ririko was just thinking how she wanted
to become good friends with Hiiragi!"
It seemed she knew my last name.
Although she had called us "interesting," I
quickly realized that she was paying little attention to us. Her gaze seemed to
be drifting all over.
"What did you find so interesting? Our conversation?"
"Yes. Aaaand no."
Her voice dripped with saccharine. But it
wasn't the type of flirtatious saccharine that Miki occasionally put on for
play.
It was like a child's. Not just that, but her
behavior and expressions were like those of a child as well.
"What's so interesting about you two are the
call signs you're giving off."
"...Call signs?"
"Yup. Call signs."
Although I parroted her words back at her, no
explanation was forthcoming. It felt as though she thought her manner of
speaking were the most natural thing in the world.
As if striking upon something, Masato suddenly
asked her a question.
"Hey, are you that Ririko Matsumi chick?"
"Oh, yes. Ririko is Ririko, of course."
Without any questions as to how Masato knew
her name, the uppercla.s.sman named Ririko Matsumi nodded.
"Masato, who is she?"
"Her name gets around. You can guess why,
right?"
Indeed. If this was representative of her
standard behavior, it was no surprise that people would have heard of her.
Oh, right. Now I think about it, "Matsumi" was
also on the list of people Miki told me to stay away from. And on top of that,
I vaguely remembered hearing rumors about her somewhere.
"Interesting, aren't they? White and
ultramarine, huh. Aren't most people orange? But you two are different. Ririko
likes white, you know. Makes her want to do something."
Unable to contain her excitement,
Matsumi-senpai continued.
"Hey, hey, can Ririko read you?"
"Read me?"
I parroted her words again.
"Oh, that's right. Most people can't do
scanning. But, but, you see, Ririko can do scanning!"
Puffing up her chest proudly, she spread her
hands as if to say "here I go!"
In a flash, her innocent expression vanished.
It was replaced with something inhuman, almost
mannequin-like.
A strange voice. A voice that couldn't quite
be said to be coming from her throat. The noise sounded exactly like that of a
machine, but it was clearly emanating from her half-open mouth.
As if being infiltrated by darkness, her eyes
slowly lost their light. They lost their focus and seemed to stop perceiving
altogether. But I could tell. Even though they were out of focus, they were
holding me tight in their gaze and refusing to let go. As if I were afflicted
with paralysis, I was unable to so much as wiggle a fingertip.
What was going on?
Still frozen in shock, I could see Masato out
of the corner of my eye. Although Masato despised other people showing weakness
around him, he was simply staring speechless.
Everything about this was abnormal.
"Beep bibibi, bip bip bibeep."
As if it were travelling not through my
eardrums but through my bones, I could feel the noise resound within my body. I
couldn't tell where it was coming from any more. Coming not from in front of
me, nor behind me, nor beside me or above me, that mechanical noise simply
wrapped around me and continued resonating.
Beep bibibi, bip bip bibeep.
The noise rang in concert with my very cells.
My entire body trembled with stinging pain, almost as if I were being scalded.
I still couldn't move my legs. I couldn't move
at all. It had transformed from paralysis into sheer violence. A paralysis so
strong it felt as though my body were bound with electric cables. Cables that
both bound me and tore me to pieces. They exposed me, comprehended me, bound up
my insides and scattered them.
While exposing my everything, those eyes
continued holding me. Capturing everything, yet reflecting nothing. Eyes that
were both jet-black and snow white.
"Scanning complete."
As Matsumi-senpai said that, the scenery
returned and the world began turning once more. Of course, I knew that the
scenery had never left. The only thing that had changed was me. For just that
moment, the "me" who was able to perceive that scenery was changed.
Only a few seconds should have pa.s.sed. But
those seconds felt so dense that I would have believed if I was told that hours
or even days had pa.s.sed.
A breath.
Good... I took a breath.
I can still breathe.
"Well then, next up is..."
The innocent girl's eyes turned to Masato.
"Ah—"
Masato's eyes were wide open. I had never seen
him like this before.
Matsumi-senpai's eyes, which had by now
returned to their original color, steady became black and white again.
"...don't."
"Beep bi—"
"DON'T!!"
Masato screamed.
In response to his ragged breathing and scared
demeanor, Matsumi-senpai lips began to quiver.
"You don't have to shout like that, you
know..."
Despite being the source of Masato's terror,
she simply pouted, seemingly as indifferent as ever to the emotions of others.
"Excuse me, Matsumi-senpai, what was that just
now...?"
"Hold on, hold on. Ririko's going to put it
into words now."
Matsumi-senpai stood still, her mouth hanging
lazily half-open.
She stayed in that state for a little while,
not so much as moving a muscle.
"Kouta Hiiragi, age fifteen."
Still expressionless, her mouth began moving,
and like a machine began speaking.
"Lives with his parents and younger sister.
Lives in a room with a skylight on the second floor of an old single-family
home. Has many friends, but no close friends. Values emotional distance. Has
recently begun courting a member of the opposite s.e.x. Virgin. Gets tired when
conversing with others. Largely apathetic towards himself."
I had no idea what she was talking about. But
as she went on, it became clear that she was talking about me.
"Unconsciously rejects his mother due to her
hysterical temperament. Receives mixed messages from his father. Neither parent
approaches parenting with any degree of consistency. His sister enjoys killing
cats. Has been ordered by his family to deal with the cat corpses. Will listen
to anything he is told. Susceptible to brainwashing. Versatile. Abnormally good
at understanding the value systems of others. Has no self, so regards others
with-"
"Th... that's enough! Matsumi-senpai, please
cut it out!"
I raised my voice, almost to a scream, and
Matsumi-senpai, whose eyes had been open this whole time, finally blinked. Her
expression began coming back.
"So? So? How was that? How'd you like my
scanning? Did Ririko get that all right?"
She looked like a proud kindergartener asking how
good her crayon drawing was. Knowing that it would make her happy, I decided to
humor her and nodded vigorously.
I didn't want to listen to this anymore.
I didn't want to learn anything about myself.
"Senpai, can we go now?"
For some reason, Masato seemed exhausted.
"Whaaat? But Ririko wanted to chat more! He's
white, after all! He's the only one!"
"Sorry, but we got places to be."
"Ririko understands... Well, Ririko guesses it
can't be helped then."
Matsumi-senpai's shoulders slumped.
"Ririko guesses she'll see you later then,
Tanihara."
His lips pursed, Masato scowled at
Matsumi-senpai.
"Huh? Aren't you Tanihara?"
"It's read 'Yahara', Senpai."
"You're kidding! Ririko wonders why she made
that mistake... Ririko wonders if it's because the scanning stopped partway?
Oh, by the way! Ririko doesn't normally make that kind of mistake! Ririko's
normally always right!"
Waving both her hands, Matsumi-senpai gave an
odd excuse.
But neither of us could muster the energy for
a reb.u.t.tal, so we simply turned and walked away.
Walking in silence, we pa.s.sed through a
deserted shopping district, with almost half the stores shuttered up. I felt
like my feet couldn't quite reach the ground. I was filled with an unpleasant
floating sensation.
What exactly was that "scanning"?
Wasn't that magic? And a foul magic at that, one that overturned every value I
once held.
It felt like the world was shaking. Although
there was no heat haze to speak of, I was having difficulty telling exactly
where the ground was. It was as if I should have able to fly, but for some
absurd reason the cracked concrete was shackling me to the earth.
Perhaps it was a childish delusion. But...
that's right. Ririko Matsumi had no such restrictions. And perhaps she was so
absurd a person as to truly believe she could fly.
"Kou."
Breaking the silence, Masato spoke.
"Get this through your head. Don't talk to
that birdbrain ever again. She'll be a bad influence on you, got it?"
I wasn't sure what harm a simple conversation
could do, but Masato looked dead serious, so I just responded with a firm nod.
Honestly, I was surprised that Masato would
show such concern for me. He reminded me of Miki.
"Masato, did you understand what was going on
with that scanning thing?"
"... not even a little."
I see. So he had "not even a little" desire to
explain it to me, huh.
But even knowing that, I didn't feel the need
to press the issue. If he didn't want to tell me, it wasn't like I could make
him.
The traffic light in front of us turned red.
We stopped.
"f.u.c.k."
Masato spit out a small expletive and began
chewing on his lip.
"What's wrong?"
"Why the h.e.l.l'd we stop?"
"The light
was red, wasn't it?"
"There's
no cars here."
I looked
both ways to verify his statement. Indeed, there were no automobiles in sight.
"...Then
do you want to cross?"
"That's
not what I'm talking about... that's not what I'm f.u.c.king talking about. I'm
asking why I stopped."
I was
perplexed. What was Masato so irritated about?
"Well, red
means stop, so obviously we'd stop, right?"
"Right.
Even though we coulda crossed, we stopped just because that's how it works."
Masato
began scratching at his head, almost as if he were trying to plug up his ears.
"Masato,
is something the matter? Is it because of that uppercla.s.sman?"
"...Yeah, I
guess. There's something wrong with me right now. There'd have to be for me to
talk to you like this, huh."
The light
turned green.
"Masato,
let's go."
"Right..."
As he
began walking, I could see Masato's expression surpa.s.s irritation and shift to
rage. He was scratching at himself to an abnormal degree. The expression he was
giving made it seem is if his entire body were swarming with caterpillars and
they were digging under his skin to lay eggs.
With no
change in demeanor, Masato spoke.
"Ahh... I
wanna kill someone."
I could
tell.
We were
past the point of no return.
The day
after our encounter with Ririko Matsumi, Masato didn't show up at school.
That
wasn't too strange in and of itself. Masato had skipped school twice in that
past for little to no reason. But given the state he had been in yesterday, I
couldn't help but be concerned.
I
wanna kill someone.
He was
just saying it like he always did, right?
"Good
morning, Kouta."
I heard a
voice I was now fairly used to. I turned my head and responded.
"Good
morning, Miki."
"...Yahara
isn't here today, huh."
Her voice
lacked its usual pluck. Her expression also seemed somewhat gloomy.
"What's
wrong? You seem out of sorts."
"You can
tell?"
Giving a
weak smile, Miki heaved a sigh.
'You can
tell?', huh.
It was
obvious that she was wearing her lack of energy on her face to elicit my
concern. But I kept that to myself and simply nodded.
"Would you
mind coming to the courtyard with me, Kouta?"
"Right
now?"
There
wasn't that much time left before cla.s.s began.
"Yeah...
there's something I want to talk to you about, and I'd rather not be
overheard."
In other
words, it was a matter of some importance. That was what Miki was trying to
convey. She was extraordinarily skilled at conveying her intentions to others.
So I put
on an obedient expression.
The sky
was overcast and it looked liable to start raining at any moment, so the
courtyard was unpleasantly chilly. The scent of earth mingled with the
humidity, and I felt as though I might choke.
Regardless
of the fact that she herself was the one who called us here, Miki simply hung
her head in silence. It created an oddly docile atmosphere.
"Miki,
what was it you wanted to talk about?"
Although I
tried to break the ice, Miki still just cast her eyes down. Realizing that I
should wait for her to speak, I did just that.
"...I'm
really just a bother, aren't I."
That was
the first thing that came out of her mouth.
"I'm not
blind. I can at least tell that I'm a bother..."
"Um...
what's this, all of a sudden?"
Even if
Miki had realized that she was being bothersome, she had gone to some lengths
to feign airheadedness and conceal it.
"I spent
all day yesterday thinking about how I could deal with this without having to
do something wrong."
I wasn't
sure what brought about this abrupt change of heart. All I knew was that I
shouldn't point out the fact that it was a change of heart. If I did,
Miki would become difficult to deal with.
Miki's
eyes grew watery, and she seemed to put herself on guard.
As far as
I was concerned, that was much more worrying than the actual words coming out
of her mouth.
"What do
you mean by something 'wrong'?"
"Pushing
magic on you would be wrong. I know that people laugh at me and call me
delusional. But even so, I was trying to forcibly push my value system on you."
I didn't
really care about that. And Miki should have known that.
"But, you
know... even though I knew what I was doing was wrong, I couldn't bear watching
you turn into an insane magus! I just couldn't!"
Her eyes
still moist, she spoke with conviction.
I couldn't
say anything. As I still didn't fully comprehend magic, I couldn't understand
what Miki was saying. But that aside, in the face of Miki's staunch
earnestness, I felt it would be improper to interject, so I couldn't say
anything.
"So I've
been thinking."
Miki took
my right hand and embraced it in hers. My heart began pounding at the
unexpected feel of her touch. Miki peered at me with teary eyes.
It felt
very intentional. She was intentionally manipulating my heartrate. But in her
eyes, I could see her slyness tinged with indecision.
Closing
her eyes for the first time in some time, Miki let out a long sigh. I could
feel her grip on my hand tighten ever-so-slightly.
...How
strange. I felt a warmth other than simple body heat transfer from her hands to
mine. If she told me that it was part of her magic, I wouldn't doubt it for a
second.
Miki
opened her eyes again.
They were
filled with resolution.
They
seemed to be entreating me.
"Kouta...
do you think you could fall for me?"
Her
unexpected question left me speechless.
"Or is
that impossible, I wonder..."
It was,
quite clearly, a confession.
Perhaps to
an outsider, confessing in this situation might seem completely natural. But as
the party in question, I could tell how unhealthy it was.
After all,
Miki was simply trying to protect me. It wasn't as if she held any romantic
feelings towards me. I understood that much.
"Am I...
no good?"
"Th...
that's not it at all! You're extremely charming, Miki!"
Reflexively,
I gave Miki the exact response she was looking for.
Of course,
it was true that she was charming. Her looks would make her at home in any idol
group, and although she was selfish, she had a timidly side to her that obsessively
took the needs of the others into consideration as well.
But that
was nothing more than an objective observation. What did I personally think of
her?
To begin
with...
Under what
circ.u.mstances would I fall for a girl?
"Do you
think you could fall for me?"
"That's..."
Even
though I knew what answer she was looking for, I couldn't bring myself to say
it.
"...Kouta,
you're a guy, right?"
"Well,
yes."
"Even if
you only want me for my body, if that's enough to get you to fall for me,
I'm... okay with that."
Miki's
eyes then widened.
"S...sorry!
I said something really weird! But... I really do want you to fall for me! Even
if that's what it takes!"
I couldn't
comprehend it. I couldn't comprehend why she would go to such lengths.
...No,
that's not true. For the sake of magic, she would go to any lengths. She felt
the need to do something about me and my lack of magic resistance. Even if it
meant sacrificing her own chast.i.ty, she had to protect the notion of magic.
Miki
wouldn't be Miki if she didn't abide by her magic.
But even
recognizing that, I was still uneasy. Although I couldn't put it to words,
there was something that didn't sit right with me.
There was
one thing I was sure of, though. Regardless of how it looked, Miki sought me.
Knowing that, how could I turn down her confession?
The answer
was simple. I couldn't.
"I will
fall for you. So you don't have to say weird stuff like that anymore."
Miki's
eyes widened, and she stared straight at me.
"So you
mean we're going out now?"
"Yup."
"You're
okay with this? I'm going to be your first girlfriend, right? Are you okay with
it being me? You can't take it back, you know that, right? You know you'll take
on my attribute, right?"
"Like I
said, I'm fine with that."
Before my eyes, Miki's expression brightened.
"Really?
You're really okay with this? ...Yay. Yay!"
The teary
expression she had been displaying up until a moment ago vanished like it had
never been there, and she broke into a radiant smile. Seeing it, I was
convinced I had made the right decision and was filled with relief.
I was fine
with this.
"Yay!
Thanks so much, Kouta! I look forward to our continued times together!"
Miki
merrily shook my hand up and down.
My
discomfort didn't fade, but there was one thing I knew for sure. From now on,
Miki and I would spend a great deal more time together. Little by little, we
would stop holding back around each other. My days would be fulfilling, and I
might even earn the jealousy of my peers. That was the shape my life would take
from now on.
I
recognized this, and accepted it without resistance.
Just
according to Miki's script.
A week had
pa.s.sed since Miki's confession. Unsurprisingly, we had grown a good deal
closer, but Miki hardly behaved as if we were lovers and instead treated me
much the same as before. So I did the same.
But Miki
the object of no small amount of attention. The fact that we were dating
quickly became public and rapidly circulated throughout the school. Even if the
way we treated each other didn't change, the way the people around us reacted
did. Feeling cramped by the way the people around me forced their definitions
onto us, even my awareness of our relationship began to gradually shift. Before
long, pressure from the peanut gallery would likely transform us into a
conventional boyfriend and girlfriend.
I see. So
Miki formally asked me out knowing that this would happen.
"Well
then, I look forward to another week together!"
"Yup. See
you later."
As we
parted at the usual street, Miki exaggeratedly waved me goodbye. I smiled at
her and returned the wave.
Miki and I had made plans to spend the day at
her house on the Sunday of next week. Although she had said that her parents
would be out of the house, I harbored no improper expectations. Or did I? What