The Master Builder Part 46
Yes, I do.
HILDA.
Then there must be--a little of the troll in you too.
SOLNESS.
Why of the troll?
HILDA.
What would you call it, then?
SOLNESS.
[Rises.] Well, well, perhaps you are right. [Vehemently.] But how can I help turning into a troll, when this is how it always goes with me in everything--in everything!
HILDA.
How do you mean?
SOLNESS.
[Speaking low, with inward emotion.] Mark what I say to you, Hilda.
All that I have succeeded in doing, building, creating--all the beauty, security, cheerful comfort--ay, and magnificence too--[Clenches his hands.] Oh, is it not terrible even to think of--?
HILDA.
What is so terrible?
SOLNESS.
That all this I have to make up for, to pay for--not in money, but in human happiness. And not with my own happiness only, but with other peoples too. Yes, yes, do you see that, Hilda? That is the price which my position as an artist has cost me--and others. And every single day I have to look on while the price is paid for me anew. Over again, and over again--and over again for ever!
HILDA.
[Rises and looks steadily at him.] Now I can see that you are thinking of--of her.
SOLNESS.
Yes, mainly of Aline. For Aline--she, too, had her vocation in life, just as much as I had mine. [His voice quivers.] But her vocation has had to be stunted, and crushed, and shattered--in order that mine might force its way to--to a sort of great victory. For you must know that Aline--she, too, had a talent for building.
HILDA.
She! For building?
SOLNESS.
[Shakes his head.] Not houses and towers, and spires--not such things as I work away at--
HILDA.
Well, but what then?
SOLNESS.
[Softly, with emotion.] For building up the souls of little children, Hilda. For building up childrens souls in perfect balance, and in n.o.ble and beautiful forms. For enabling them to soar up into erect and full-grown human souls. That was Alines talent. And there it all lies now--unused and unusable for ever--of no earthly service to any one--just like the ruins left by a fire.
HILDA.
Yes, but even if this were so--?
SOLNESS.
It is so! It is so! I know it!
HILDA.
Well, but in any case it is not your fault.
SOLNESS.
[Fixes his eyes on her, and nods slowly.] Ah, that is the great, the terrible question. That is the doubt that is gnawing me--night and day.
HILDA.
That?