The Foolish Dictionary Part 29
=When a man begins to see snakes and one head looks like three, its a cinch hes not far from h.e.l.l.=
CHARON. The gloomy gondolier of the Styx, who carried the dead to the Other World--if they paid him first.
=And even to-day, he who patronizes Rapid Transit must pay his fare in advance.=
CUPID. The son of Venus and the G.o.d of Love, who with bow and arrows punctured mens bosoms with the darts of admiration.
=But now-a-days the arrows not in it with a snug bathing suit or a decollette gown.=
DAEDALUS. The original Santos Dumont, who invented and successfully operated a flying-machine that would fly. His son, Icarus, tried the trick, went too high and fell into the sea.
=A flier frequently precedes a fall--especially in Wall Street.=
DIANA. The G.o.ddess of the chase; unmarried.
=And this is very fitting. May the chase always be for the unmarried only!=
HERCULES. The Gritty Greek (no relation to the Terrible Turk), an independent laborer, who always had a good job awaiting him.
=It is interesting to recall the days when non-union labor had all the work it wanted.=
IXION. A king of Thessaly, who for his sins was broken on a wheel.
=And men have been going broke on "the wheel" ever since.=
LOTUS EATERS. A gang of ancient vegetarians, who chewed leaves and went to sleep.
=Now succeeded by a club of New Yorkers, who chew the rag and keep awake.=
MERCURY. A celestial messenger-boy, who wore wings on his shoes and knew how "to get there" in a hurry.
=Now they all wear hobbles, and never exceed the speed limit in a public thoroughfare.=
MIDAS. A Greek king, who had the power of turning into gold all that he touched.
=Thats nothing! There are plenty of men to-day who always get gold whoever they touch.=
SAPPHO. A love-lorn poetess, who, failing to win the man she first loved, cured herself by jumping into the Mediterranean.
=She probably acted on the old advice, "Theres plenty more fish in the sea!"=
TANTALUS. A proud king, who suffered in Hades the agonies of hunger and thirst, with food and drink always in sight, but always beyond reach.
=Here on earth, the 50-cent table dhote accomplishes the same result--besides costing you the fifty.=
TROY. An ancient, oriental city, which took in a wooden horse and saw the domestic finish of Helen and Paris.
=Do not confuse with Troy, N.Y., where they only take in washing and provide a domestic finish for collars and shirts.=