The Foolish Dictionary Part 12
=HEAVE= To raise.
=HEAVEN= A good place to be raised to.
=HEDGE= A fence.
=HEDGEHOG= One who hogs the fences. A Bill-Poster.
=h.e.l.l= Poverty.
=HEREDITY= The cause of all our faults. From Fr. _here_, wretch, and Eng. _ditty_, song. The song of the wretched.
=HEROISM=
[Ill.u.s.tration]
A transferable ticket to the Haul of Fame. Once held by Hobson and Dewey, now carried by Mother Eddy and Brother Dowie.
=HIP= A popular location for the retail liquor business.
=HISTORY= The evil that men do.
=HIT= A chance for first place, first base or first blood.
=HOCK= v. t. To "soak" what we least need. In Germany, they generally "Hock the Kaiser."
=h.o.m.oEOPATHY= See Allopathy.
=HOOT MON=! The Scottish National Hymn.
=HOP= To skip.
=HOPPER= A skipper.
=HOPE= A desire for better things to come that makes a gra.s.s widow willing to try it again. Also, a draft on futurity, sometimes honored, but generally extended.
[Ill.u.s.tration]
=HORN= A sharp point.
=HORNET= Still sharper.
=HORSE-SENSE= A degree of wisdom that keeps one from betting on the races.
=HOSE= Mans excuse for wetting the walk.
=HOSIERY= Womans excuse for walking in the wet.
=HOTEL= A place where a guest often gives up good dollars for poor quarters.
=HOUSECLEANING= A domestic upheaval that makes it easy for the government to enlist all the soldiers it needs.
=HUG= A roundabout way of expressing affection.
=HUMOR= An outbreak, either of skin or brains frequently branded as Rash.
=HUNGER= Ability to eat in a Night Lunch Cart.