No. 6 Vol 1 Chapter 4.1
[Novel] NO. 6 - Vol 1 Ch 4 (a)
These are English translations for the novel NO. 6 by Asano Atsuko.
CHAPTER 4
Of Fathomless Terror
The flow of sewage was faster and deeper than what Shion had expected. Indiscernible objects floated past his face. Once in a while, something would cling to his goggles and block his vision. He could smell an odour unlike anything he had smelled before. Amidst the overarching smell of rot was a mix of sickly sweet scents and harsh odours that stung the nose. In this brownish murk, he could barely follow Nezumi, who swam in front of him. And more than anything, it was hard to breathe. His heart thudded, and his chest strained painfully.
Nezumi drifted to the side, and pointed at a handle that was attached to the wall. Shion reached out and grabbed it. Together, they turned it and pulled as hard as they could. A round opening appeared.
He couldnt breathe. He was at his limit. His consciousness was fading away. The next instant, he was sucked into the hole. He was pulled along, pushed up, and thrown out on dry land. His body was slammed ash.o.r.e, and he could feel the shock from it tingle to his toes. But he no longer felt like he had a wet cloth over his face. He could breathe. He felt a momentary relief, and then was overcome with a fit of coughing. He felt nauseous, and the inside of his mouth felt sticky. Shion yanked off his goggles and closed his eyes. For several moments, he couldnt move.
"Its a little early for bed-time," Nezumi quipped, but his breathing was laboured as well. Shion opened his eyes, and saw a bare concrete surface.
"Where are we?"
"In the sewage pipes. Artifacts of the 20th century. Maybe not artifacts, since theyre still being used." Nezumi shook his head vigorously from side to side. Water droplets flew from his hair. "When the amount of sewage goes over capacity, they open that door back there to flush it down these pipes."
"They flush sewage down here? Without filtering it?"
"Yup. Your beloved City tends to do that sometimes."
"Where does it go?"
"The West Block."
"So they flush dirty water― how could they..." Shion was at a loss for words. Nezumi stood up.
"The West Block isnt part of the city to him. Its in the margins. He probably only sees this place as some kind of garbage dump."
"He?"
Nezumi was standing still, staring unblinkingly before him. At the end of his gaze was the sewage outlet that they had just been washed out of. Sewage still trickled in thin streams across the concrete.
"Lets go." Nezumi bent down to scoop up the mouse scurrying about his feet, and turned his back to Shion. Shion stood up hastily. He still felt nauseous, but he had some strength left in his legs to stand. I still have enough strength. Itll last me. Ill be alright. Shion mentally encouraged himself. On Nezumis shoulder, the mouse that had been their navigator cheeped amiably.
"Ah!" Shion brought a hand to his neck. He felt something faintly odd. On the base of his neck, there was a small part that felt numb. Shion felt the area with his fingers. There was a pea-sized blister growing, and it was itchy. He scratched it lightly. A chill wind blew through the centre of his body. Shion could feel his heart contract.
This gesture ― scratching the neck ― he had seen someone do this before.
"Yamase-san." Yamases image floated up clearly in Shions mind, pouring coffee, making conversation, always scratching his neck throughout. "Dont tell me―"
Nezumi turned around.
"Whats wrong?"
"No, nothing."
"You better not be whining that you cant walk anymore."
"On the contrary," said Shion, "I could do with a little more exercise. Want me to piggy-back you while Im at it?"
"Nice of you to offer, but no thanks."
The mouse on his shoulder was chirruping. Shion walked faster to catch up with Nezumi.
He was thinking too much. It was just a blister. The sc.r.a.pe on his arm and his bruised body were much worse than this. It was a blister, for goodness sake. Just a blister....
"Why the serious face? Missing your mama?"
"My mother..." Shion murmured. "Nezumi, do you think Id be able to get in touch with her?"
"Forget about it."
"How are you so sure?"
"You know well enough. Right now, your house is probably being searched top to bottom by the Security Bureau, down to the contents of your garbage can. Unless you have telepathic powers, theres no way you can get in touch with her."
"I guess youre right."
―Im sorry, mom. He could only apologize. ―Im safe. Im alive. So please―He didnt want her to despair. He didnt want her to grieve.
"Bulls.h.i.t," Nezumi spat.
"What is?"
"You. Youre full of it."
It was the first time Shion had been insulted to his face.
"What do you mean?"
"What Im saying is that youre full of bulls.h.i.t for carrying this baggage, this c.r.a.p, like its the most precious thing in the world." Nezumi narrowed his eyes and fixed Shion with a hard gaze. His eyes were piercing, and filled with an emotion almost leaning toward animosity.
Shion opened his mouth to question him further, but Nezumi had suddenly begun to scale the wall. Upon a more careful look, Shion could see that there was a rusted metal ladder fixed to it. When he emerged at the top, he was greeted with an evening sky. He was above ground again. The sky was painted vividly in the colours of the sunset, and a chilly air settled upon him.
The place looked like an entrance to the West Block. In the distance, the outer walls of No. 6 glittered as it reflected the setting sun. Because of the West Blocks lower elevation, No. 6 loomed even larger before them. It was breathtaking to see the sprawling city encircled by shining walls. Shion even thought there was a sort of G.o.dly air about it.
Nezumi began to walk in the opposite direction. They emerged from a spa.r.s.e wood and soon came upon the ruins of a house. There was smoke rising out of it, and voices could be heard inside.
"Are there people living in there?"
"Lots of them," Nezumi replied.
Past the ruined house were a row of several barracks.
"This way." Shion was dragged by the arm to another ruins of a building. This one looked like it had been a warehouse before. The building had been quite s.p.a.cious, but half of it had crumbled away into rubble.
"Were going underground again." Nezumi pressed a section of the wall, and it soundlessly moved aside to let them through. Beyond, there was a flight of stairs made of bare concrete like those in the sewage tunnels. The mouse bounded down the stairs. At the foot of them was a door. Inside, it was pitch black. There was a click, and the room was bathed in dim light.
Shion caught his breath and was rooted to the spot.
There were mounds and mounds of books, piled precariously high. Most of the room was buried in them.
"Are these all... books?"
"Do they look like food to you?"
"Ive never seen this many."
"Let me guess, youve only read off electronic paper before."
"Yeah, well, not really, but... but wow, this is amazing."
"And to take another guess, youve probably never read Molière, Racine or Shakespeare before. And you probably dont know anything about Chinese cla.s.sics or myths of the Aztecs."
"I dont." Shion didnt argue otherwise. He was too overwhelmed.
"Then what do you know?" Nezumi asked, running a hand through his wet hair.
"Huh?"
"What have you studied up until now? Systematic knowledge, front-line technology, how to decode specialized scholarly papers, and what else?"
"A lot else," Shion replied indignantly.
"Like what?"
"How to bake bread, how to make coffee, park maintenance and cleaning... not to mention, now I know how to scuba-dive in sewage."
"You forgot how to reject someone when she asks you to have s.e.x and youve only ever thought of her as a friend. You didnt do a great job at it, though."
Shion raised his chin defiantly and glared at the pair of grey eyes.
"If you have time to be making fun of me, will you let me wash up?"
"Im first." Nezumi pulled a towel from in-between some books, and tossed it at Shion. "Dont be mad," he said. "What I actually meant is that youve come pretty far since four years ago. Youve learned a lot more useful things other than how to make cocoa."
"Im humbled by your kind compliments."
"Hey, really, dont be mad."
Nezumi disappeared into the pile of books. Momentarily, Shion could hear the m.u.f.fled sounds of a shower. He took a good look around the room. There were bookshelves on every side, and they were filled to bursting with books. They didnt look like they were sorted in any order, and books of all sizes were shoved haphazardly into open s.p.a.ces on the shelves. Shion felt from them the same kind of hustle and bustle that he would from a crowded train station. The faded carpet looked like it had once been some shade of green, and it was also covered in piles of books. Nestled amongst them was a bed. There were no windows. There was no kitchen, and no signs of other furniture.
Cheep cheep.
A mouse squeaked at him from atop a book. Shion took the book in his hands, and flipped open to a page. He smelled the faint scent of paper. He remembered, long ago, he had smelled the same thing. He was sitting on top of something soft and warm― his memory wavered. He couldnt remember it well. The mouse scurried up to his shoulder. It twitched its whiskers, and chirruped persistently.
"You want me to read this?"
Cheep cheep.
There was a bookmark in the middle of the book. Shion turned to it, and began to read aloud.
Heres the smell of the blood, still. All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. Oh, oh, oh!
―What a sigh is there. The heart is sorely charged.
―I would not have such a heart in my bosom for the dignity of the whole body.[1]
Another small mouse had appeared at Shions feet. It had charming grape-coloured eyes. The brown mouse that had been sitting on the book nodded its head vigorously as if to urge him on.
To bed, to bed, Theres knocking at the gate. Come, come, come, come, give me your hand. Whats done cannot be undone. ― To bed, to bed, to bed![2]
Shion felt a presence behind him, and turned around. Nezumi stood with a towel hanging around his neck. He gave a deep bow.
"To the showers, if it so pleases your Majesty. Your change of adornments awaits you here."
"Nezumi, this book―"
"Its Shakespeare. Macbeth. Ever heard of it?"
"Only the t.i.tle."
"I figured as much."
"Are all these books cla.s.sics?"
"Nay, your Majesty. We also have introductory books to ecology, and scientific journals to please your fancy."
"Are these all your books?"
"Is it interrogation time again?" Nezumi said exasperatedly. "Run along and take a shower, and then Ill give you something to eat." He ended abruptly, and obstinately turned his head aside.
The shower was old, and it was difficult to control the temperature. The flow was punctuated with bursts of frigid water, but for Shion it still felt nice. It had been a long time since he enjoyed a shower this much. The itch on his neck had miraculously disappeared as well.
―Im alive. Ive been saved.
Shion thought to himself as he let the hot water run over his body. He didnt know about tomorrow. But he was alive right now, and was well enough to take this shower.
―I didnt thank him yet.
He had been rescued, and Nezumi had risked his life to save him. But not a single word of grat.i.tude had escaped his lips so far. Realization set in. Soon after exiting the bathroom, one of the mice came scampering up to him again.
"Hes taken a huge liking to your reading." Nezumi was stirring something in a pot over the kerosene heater. There was steam rising from it, and it gave the room a feeling of homey warmth.
"Oh!" Shion suddenly exclaimed. He remembered now, what was behind the nostalgia and warmth he felt when he opened the book.
"What? Whatre you shouting for?"
"No, I just remembered. A long time ago, my mother used to read to me."
"She read Macbeth to you?"
"Of course not. I was really young then. I remember sitting in Mothers lap, and shed read to me." What kind of story was it again? The page was being turned slowly. Karans voice echoed in his ears, first high, then low; subdued, then full of strength. He could feel the warmth of her body. He could smell the scent of paper.
"Youre going to destroy yourself," said Nezumi quietly. His voice was cold.
"What?"
"Ive said this before. Carry all this useless baggage, and one day itll be the end of you. Itll weigh you down until it squashes you flat."
"Useless? Like what?"
"Memories. Attachments to being a citizen of No. 6. Your comfortable life, your overestimation of your own skills, your misconceptions of being some kind of chosen one, pride. The list goes on forever. But the worst is your mother. Do you have some sort of Oedipus complex? If youre being haunted by your mother that much, goodness knows what youre going to do next. Maybe youll start saying you want to go back to the city to see your dearest Mama."
It had touched a nerve.
"Is it a useless thing to think about my parents?" answered Shion tensely. "I know what kind of situation Im in right now, and I know theres no way to get in contact with my mother. But Im free to think about her, at least. Thats not something for you to say anything about."
"Throw it away." Nezumis voice has turned even icier, and had almost a metallic ring to it. "Throw away useless feelings like those."
"Why― Why are you saying..." Shion said in disbelief.
"Because theyre dangerous."
"My feelings? Dangerous?"
"Back there, you threw away your citizenship card because it was a danger to us. So are feelings for other people. You get dragged around, pulled this way and that, and before you know it, youre in dangerous territory. Your mama, papa, your grandma, whoever― theyre all strangers now. Theres no emotional room in you to be concerned about strangers. Your hands are full enough trying to keep yourself alive."
"And thats why I should throw everything else away?"
"Toss it. Cut yourself away from all the baggage youve carried until now."
Shion clenched his fists at his sides. He took a step closer to Nezumi.
"Then what about you?"
"Me?"
"Why did you help me, then? Im just a stranger, but you stepped into dangerous territory to save me. Youre not exactly practising what you preach."
"Some personality youve got," retorted Nezumi. "If you really feel that youve been rescued by me, why dont you try to be a little more modest when you say things?"
Nezumis hand extended to grasp Shions collar. He was pushed against the bookshelf.
"I owe a debt to you," his low voice hissed at Shions ear. "Four years ago, you saved my life. Im paying back that debt. Thats all."
"Then youve paid enough. Too much, even." Shion gripped Nezumis wrist to pry it away from his collar. But Nezumis taut muscles showed no signs of relaxing.
"Let go."
"Make me, little boy."
"Ill bite your nose off." Shion clicked his teeth. There was a split second of hesitation. Shion didnt miss it. He slid a hand around the back of Nezumis neck.
"Biting noses off is my specialty."
"Huh? Wait a second, thats dirty―"
"I forgot to mention, over these past four years, Ive also learned how to fight."
"Hey, knock it off," Nezumi said nervously, "biting is the worst―whoa―!"
Nezumi lost his footing, and the two fell flailing into the sea of books. Pile after pile toppled over, and books rained down on them from above.
"Ow," Nezumi grimaced. "This is the worst. I think I hit my head on an encyclopedia.... Shion, you alright?"
"Yeah... whats this? Chumayels Chilam Balam?"
"Its a Mayan spiritual text ― a story about G.o.ds and humans. You probably wouldnt be interested in it." Nezumi smiled wanly as he began to stack the fallen books.
"Whats that supposed to mean?"
"Its true, isnt it? Have you ever had any interest in other humans, or G.o.ds, or tales before?"
Humans? G.o.ds? Tales? He had never thought deeply about any of those. Not once. But that was before.
Shion gazed all about him, and breathed in the warm scent that filled the air. Here was a world that he didnt know. In the days to come, what would he see, hear, learn, and ponder? His heart raced, but he didnt know why. For a single moment, his soul had danced with an antic.i.p.ation, much like the feeling of seeing the ocean for the first time. Then he thought of the look he must have on his face. He felt embarra.s.sed for letting it show, and not wanting Nezumi to see, he bent down and nonchalantly picked up a book laying at his feet.
"Whats this?"
"A collection of Hesses poems," Nezumi replied.
My soul, you frightened bird,
Over and over you must ask:
When after so many turbulent days
Comes peace, comes calm?[3]
"―Heard it before?"
"No."
"I figured as much."
"Dont ask if you already know," said Shion sourly.
"Its your job to learn it if you dont know."
"And these arent useless things?"
"Itll come in handy one day," Nezumi said casually. "Anyway, enough of that, the soups gonna get―" Nezumi swallowed his words. His eyes widened.
"Whats wrong, Nezumi?"
"Shion, your hand."
"Huh?"
"Your hand... when did those spots..."
Shions shirt sleeve was rolled halfway up his arm. There were dark spots were beginning to spread over its bare skin. They had not been there when he was taking a shower. They had definitely not.
"What? What is this?"
He was screaming. At the same time, he felt a vicious pain pierce his head.
"Shion!"
The pain came in waves. They receded for a moment, then attacked, bearing ruthlessly down on him. His fingers stiffened. His legs began to convulse.
"Shion, hang in there, Ill get a doctor―"
Shion willed his uncooperative body to reach as far as it could. He grabbed ahold of Nezumi by his clothes. There wasnt enough time. It was useless to call a doctor.
"What should I do? Shion, tell me what―"
"My neck..." Shion said weakly.
"Your neck?"
"The blister... cut it open..."
"But I dont have any anaesthetic."
"I dont need any..." he grimaced. "Hurry..."
He was fading out of consciousness. He could feel his body being lifted.Dont pa.s.s out. If you do, youll never wake up again. He didnt know what made him feel so strongly, but he was almost sure of it. The pain ebbed away for a short while, and an image drifted into his mind of Yamase as he collapsed to the ground and lay still.
―But Yamase-san didnt suffer.
He didnt roll around in pain. He aged instantaneously, and pa.s.sed away like a withering tree. Yamases symptoms were different from his. Maybe that means I still have a chance―
His brain was pierced by smouldering red needles. They were countless, and came from all directions. His body writhed in pain that he had never experienced before. His own screaming turned into scorching splinters that stabbed through him. He began to sweat profusely. He felt a strong wave of nausea. Blood and stomach fluids welled up inside his mouth, and spilled over his lips.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
Shion no longer wanted to be saved, or to be spared death. He wanted to be released from this pain, this suffering. He didnt need to open his eyes. He didnt need to live. He wasnt asking for much. He just wanted to be released―
He felt like someone had grabbed him by the hair from behind, and was dragging him into the darkness. He felt relieved. All he had to do was lend himself to it, and he would be taken to a better place. He would finally be able to sleep.
A thick, bitter liquid was being poured into his mouth. It was hot. It slid down his throat, and Shion could feel himself rise up out of the darkness. But it also meant that he was being pulled back into the throes of suffering.
"Keep your eyes open." A pair of grey eyes were peering into his face.
"Nezumi... I cant take it..." Shion implored faintly. "Let me go..."
He was slapped sharply across the face.
"Dont bulls.h.i.t me. Youre not going anywhere. Drink up." The strong and bitter liquid was forcefully poured into his mouth again. The darkness was lifting. Weak pulses of pain throbbed in his head.
Nibble nibble nibble... nibble nibble...
Shion thought he heard a sound― or was it a hallucination? It was the sound of his brain being eaten alive. There was a ma.s.s of countless black little insects. They crawled all over his brain, making nibbling sounds,
Eating. Eating. Eating.
Was it a hallucination? Or was it... it hurt terribly. He couldnt bear it. And he was terrified. A scream tore through his throat.
"Thats it. Yell. Dont give up. Youre still sixteen. Its too early to throw in the towel just yet."
Shion felt the strength leave his body. He felt heavy, as if he was being tied to a lead weight. He felt suffocated. But the pain had receded just a little.
"Keep screaming. Stay conscious. Im going to cut it open."
There was a silver scalpel in Nezumis hand.
"I dont have anything fancy like an electronic scalpel, just to let you know. Dont move."
Whether it was because half of his nerves had gone numb from severe pain, or because all the strength had left his body, he didnt know, but Shion didnt move a muscle. He couldnt move.
There were three mice, sitting side-by-side atop a pile of books. Above them, a round clock was hanging on the wall. It was an a.n.a.log clock. Tick, tick, tick. He could hear its sound. It was his first time hearing the sounds of time pa.s.sing by. A second pa.s.sed, then a minute. Time engraved itself. It pa.s.sed, gentle, meandering, and vague. The world before him blurred. His cheeks were hot. A tear slid down, touched his lips, and was absorbed, still hot, into the sheets.
"Its over." Nezumi let out a long breath. Was the metallic clink the sound of the scalpel hitting the floor?
"The bleeding isnt too bad. Does it hurt?"
"No... " rasped Shion. "I just wanna go to sleep..."
"Not yet. Hang in there for a little more."
Nezumis voice faded away. Shion could only hear the sound of the clock ticking.
"Shion."
He was being shaken.
"Keep your eyes open. Just a little more―please―open your eyes."
Shut up, he wanted to say. Shut up, shut up. A little more? How long is a little more?
"Dont give me this s.h.i.t. You put me through all this trouble― you cant just go off on your own. Shion, you know what that means? Your mamas going to cry. Whatre you gonna do about that girl, huh? Safu, or whatever her name is. Have you ever even slept with a girl before? What a waste it was to turn down that invitation."
Shut up. Stop talking. Just stop....
"You dont know anything yet. About s.e.x, or books, or how to fight properly. And you still think you dont need to go on living? Shion! Open your eyes!"
He opened his eyes. He saw four pairs of eyes staring back at him. One pair was grey, and they belonged to a human. The other three pairs were grape-coloured, and belonged to the mice.
"Theres a good kid. Ill praise you for that."
"Nezumi..."
"Hm?"
"I... didnt get your name..."
"My name?"
"Your real... name..."
"Well, theres one more thing you dont know. Ill tell you when you recover completely, and thatll be your get-well present. Look forward to it."
He was fed the bitter liquid several more times. He drifted off to sleep only to be woken up again. Shion felt like he had repeated this countlessly. He broke into a fever. He perspired heavily, and vomited again and again. It felt like all the moisture in his body was being wrung out of him.
"Water...."
He pleaded repeatedly, and each time, a cool draught watered his throat.
"It tastes good..."
"Doesnt it? The worlds not such a bad place after all." Nezumis hand slowly caressed Shions hair.
"Its alright now. Go to sleep."
"Can I...?"
"Yeah. Youre past the worst of it. Youve won. Thats quite something." The fingers that stroked his hair were gentle, as was the tone of Nezumis voice. Relief washed over his body. Shion closed his eyes, and dropped off into a slumber.
References and Notes
Shakespeare, William R. Macbeth. New Haven, CT: Yale UP, 2005. (Act 5 Scene 1 ll. 44-48) (back)
Ibid. (Act 5 Scene 1 ll. 58-60) (back)
Hesse, Hermann. "Keine Rast." -- Originally in German.
Many thanks to soap for the English translation! The original German is as follows:
Seele, banger Vogel du,
Immer wieder musst du fragen:
Wann nach so viel wilden Tagen
Kommt der Friede, kommt die Ruh? (back)