No. 6 Vol 3 Chapter 4
[Novel] NO. 6 - Vol 3 Ch 4
These are English translations for the novel NO. 6 by Asano Atsuko.
Please hover over the image to see the text.
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CHAPTER 4
A Lie of Truth, A Truth of Fiction
The Kings ears are donkeys ears.
Great furry donkeys ears.
Moving, twitching donkeys ears.
- Greek myth "King Midas Donkey Ears" [1]
Nezumi walked slowly along the night path. Here, night and darkness were synonymous with each other. After all natural light had faded, what was left was a world of darkness. Everything became painted black.
Sometimes, a barrack would let a thin strip of light seep out of one of its cracks, while barely keeping the wind and rain out. But the lights were often extinguished not long after, and a frigid chill would reign over the night, piercing through the darkness, the silence, and peoples clothes to reach their warm bodies underneath.
Even the white puffs of breath that escaped his lips faded into the darkness. He turned his face up to the heavens. Countless stars were winking in the clear night sky.
Tomorrow morning would probably be even colder than usual. And outside, more people would freeze to death. A cruel fate to meet under a starry sky. Even with a star-filled sky, no one called these winter nights beautiful ― not on this land.
Nezumi stopped his feet, and gazed at the glittering city in the distance. The city of light loomed in the darkness ― the Holy City of No. 6.
The entire city glowed golden, and reminded him of the myth of King Midas, who turned everything he touched into gold.
In the freezing darkness, Nezumi smiled wanly.
King Midas would acquire the golden touch, but in exchange for it he would no longer be able to bring meat nor bread to his lips, and would even turn his beloved daughter into a golden statue. He would then finally realize his greed and his folly, and beg the G.o.ds for forgiveness.
No. 6, what will you do? You, the city that looks down on us in our darkness, and glitters in all its deception and artifice, will you too grovel on the ground one day and beg for forgiveness? But there will be no G.o.ds to grant you mercy. Clad in that golden robe of yours, youll crumble, burn to ashes, and perish. Ill live until the moment the curtains fall on your finale. Ill keep living, and see the end with my own eyes.
Nezumi re-wrapped his superfibre cloth around himself, and began to walk. A little mouse, one that Shion had named Hamlet, poked its head out of the folds and chirruped softly.
Yes, he was going to live. Just as he had all the way up until now, he was going to keep living, even if he had to crawl the earth on all fours. He would shroud himself from any danger, sharpen his fangs, polish his claws, and keep living until the moment that he would sink his teeth into the others throat, and tear it apart.
He would survive, keep living. He would.
Nezumi put a hand to the back pocket of his pants. Inside it was Karans memo.
He had not shown Shion yet. What was he to do with it? Nezumi was suspended in his decision. He stood at a crossroads, unable to throw the memo away, nor to pa.s.s it to Shion and turn his back on him, saying it was none of his own business.
To be indecisive, to waver, and to be agitated ― he knew how dangerous these were to him, almost painfully aware. Right or left; up or down; fight or flight; abandon or protect ― the split second it took to make the decision was the difference between life and death. He had never once made the wrong choice. That was how he had survived up until now.
This memo is dangerous. Then, all he had to do was throw it away. Along with the indecision that would no doubt endanger his life, it was for the best to entomb it all in darkness.
He knew the correct answer. But why wasnt he complying with it? Why was he taking the trouble, even paying a large sum of money, to have information collected about the Correctional Facility? What the h.e.l.l am I doing?
His feet stopped.
Nezumi stood still, and trained his eyes onto the darkness. He was on a slope spa.r.s.ely populated with trees, a couple dozen metres away from his underground abode.
"Whos there?" he spoke quietly. There was a dry rustling above him, perhaps from a gust of wind that whistled through the bare branches. But even more discreetly, there was a movement in the dark, the faint sound of a step on the leaves.
"A little slow to notice, arent ya?" There was a short bark of a laugh. "Not like you, not like you at all. What were you daydreaming about?"
"Inukashi."
Inukashis black hair and tan skin were convenient for blending into the darkness. But it was careless of him not to have noticed his presence until he had come this close. He was not himself today.
"Good thing it was only me. Who knows how many lives youd need if you were that dazed around anyone else, Eve." Inukashi called Nezumi by his stage name, and gave another short laugh.
"Things arent much safer with you around," Nezumi retorted. "Especially if youre gonna be waiting at night to ambush me on the road." He took half a step backwards. "What do you want, Inukashi? I find it hardly likely youve been able to get the information this quickly."
Inukashis tone of voice changed, and all sarcasm vanished from his speech.
"Weve got an emergency."
"Emergency?"
"Just now ― well, more like awhile ago ― Shion came to see me."
"Did he?" A jolt of unease raced through him, almost painfully.
"And not about his dog-washing job, either. He shoved a grey coat in my face, and asked me if I got it from the Correctional Facility."
"Grey coat, huh... womens?"
"Yeah. It was ripped at the shoulder, but it was a fine piece of clothing. It came from a used-clothes dealer I sold stuff to. Stuff I got smuggled out of the Correctional Facility."
It must belong to that girl― Safu. Nezumi turned aside, and drew a breath.
"So?"
"So?" Inukashi echoed incredulously. "You tell me. Whats the script for this act, huh, Nezumi? Shion says this coat belongs to his friend. Which means his little friend is being kept prisoner in the Correctional Facility. And earlier today, you gave me money to gather information about the Correctional Facility. Dont tell me those arent related ― even a dog wouldnt fall for that lie. Are you planning to help Shions little friend out, is that what youre doing?"
Nezumi had no way to answer. He could neither affirm nor reject what Inukashi had said.
"Of course not," Inukashi answered for him. "Theres no way someone like youwould throw his life away to help a complete stranger."
"What makes you think Im gonna die in the process?"
On the other end of the darkness, Inukashi sucked in a deep breath.
"Are you half-asleep? This is the Correctional Facility were talking about. By some lucky fluke, you might be able to sneak in. But theres no way youd make it out alive. Nezumi, dont get any funny ideas."
"Goodness gracious, are you worried about me? Im shocked."
"I could care less about you," Inukashi snapped. "Whether one rat dies or not isnt gonna make a difference. But whatre you gonna do about Shion, huh? Now he knows where his little friends been taken. Being the oblivious little boy he is, he probably thinks the Correctional Facility is just some cushy Centre for Discipline, or whatever. He probably figures all he has to do is hand in a Visitation Form to see his little friend. If you dont stop him, the kids gonna go. Hes gonna go and ― hes gonna get himself killed."
Inukashi fell silent, the darkness of the night seemed to deepen. Even the wind was still ― the tree branches ceased to make even a faint rustle.
"Is this what youve waited all this time to tell me?" Nezumi said presently. "I ache to imagine what pains I must have put you through."
Nezumi stepped forward, and grabbed Inukashi by the shoulder before he could slip away. As long as he had bearings on the others presence, he could more than easily predict all of his movements.
"It doesnt matter what Shion plans to do," Nezumi said quietly. "Hes not one of us, and its none of our business."
"Then why the h.e.l.l are you sniffing around behind his back?" Inukashi replied accusingly. "Why do you need to gather information about the Correctional Facility in secret?"
Nezumi stiffened his fingers and dug them harder into Inukashis thin, bony shoulder. Inukashi cried out in pain. Nezumi bent to bring his lips near the others ear.
"Dont stick your nose in things you have no business in," he whispered. "You do the job youve been paid to do, and nothing else."
He let his hand go. Inukashis small body swayed unsteadily.
"I only told Shion where the coat came from," he said. "I havent told him anything about what youve come to me for."
"Of course you havent."
"Nezumi, Shions gonna go alone," Inukashi said levelly. He feebly shook the arm that was now numb all the way to his fingertips. "He thinks you dont know anything about it. And hes gonna go alone, without telling anyone. Hes not gonna get you involved. You know that, right?"
"What makes you so sure? Are you Shions Papa or something?"
"I dont have to be his Papa to know. You should know even better than me what kind of person he is. Thats why youre scuttling around in secret, arent you?"
"Shut up!" Nezumi had raised his voice in a snarl. His emotions whipped about turbulently; his breathing came out irregular. Inukashi showed almost no reaction.
"If hes so precious to you that you dont wanna lose him," Inukashi said steadily, "protect him to the very end. And do whatever it takes to protect him, you idiot, no matter how humiliating it is. You think you can save face, huh? Keep it all hidden, and take care of it all on your own? Stop fooling yourself."
"Inukashi!"
Inukashi sprang back a split second before Nezumi took a step forward. Crouched on one knee, Inukashi laughed softly.
"You lose, Nezumi."
"What?"
"Youve gotten yourself something you need to protect ― you lose. Those are the rules in these parts. Better get to know them."
Nezumi kicked off the ground, and rounded in on Inukashi from the front. He snared the other boy as he tried to get away, and pushed him to the ground.
"Whatd you say about losing?" he said fiercely. "Thats enough bulls.h.i.t from you."
"Im not bulls.h.i.tting. Nezumi, if this was you a while ago, you wouldnt have let yourself be provoked so easily. You wouldnt be walking around at night lost in thought, either."
Let go, Inukashi said in an eerily calm voice. He got up, and heaved a sigh.
"Still dont realize, Nezumi?"
"Huh?"
A sharp whistle tore through the air. While he whistled, Inukashi took several steps backwards.
In the darkness from all directions, countless small red dots of flame glinted as they emerged. It didnt take Nezumi long to realize that they were dogs eyes. Before he knew it, he was surrounded by a pack of them. Not one of them raised so much as a growl as they formed a ring and advanced on him.
"Those ones are trained guard-dogs. Youre not gonna get the same deal you did in the afternoon." Inukashis voice was further away now. "You stepped right into that ring without even realizing it. Definitely not a mistake youd normally make, Nezumi. But theres your weakness. Forget Shion ― look at you, you cant even protect yourself."
After a moment of silence, a short command sliced the air.
"Get him!"
The dogs sprang up. Dozens of lithe and deadly bodies flew over Nezumis head and came down upon him from above as he sat crouched on the ground. He sprang to his feet, and aimed a kick straight upwards.
A yelp.
One dog broke the silence with its voice, and crumpled to the ground. Before Nezumi could catch his breath, another one kicked off the ground. It sank its teeth into Nezumis arm, which he had wrapped with his superfibre cloth just in time. Nezumi swung his entire arm around and battered the dog to the ground. He rose, and regained his posture with a tree at his back.
"Inukashi, if youre gonna keep up this stupid game, Im not gonna go easy on you either." Nezumi drew his knife from its leather sheath. He caught his breath, and counted the little red flames.
Four more.
"So you dont care if your precious dogs get their throats slit, huh?" he called out.
Inukashis voice answered from the same spot as before.
"Lets see you try. That was just a warm-up. Theyre not gonna be all polite this time and come at you one by one. This time, theyre coming all at once."
Even before Inukashi had finished his sentence, Nezumi was lunging in the direction of his voice. At the same time, a searing pain tore across his shoulder.
"Out of the way!" He rammed the b.u.t.t of the knife between the dogs eyes. Along with the sound of tearing fabric, the black dog went rolling across the ground behind him.
"Inukashi!" Nezumi yanked Inukashi by his long hair, and dragged him down. He pinned him to the ground, and pressed the knife to his tan throat.
"Back your dogs down, or else―"
Inukashi laughed shortly.
"Or else what? You gonna kill me?"
"If you wish it so," Nezumi said coolly.
"You think you can kill me, when you havent even managed to kill a single dog?"
This time, it was Nezumi who gave a soft laugh.
"But I dont have a spare knife today."
"What?"
"Dogs blood dulls the blade. I saved it and kept it clean for you."
Inukashis body twitched.
"Hey, cut that out, you jerk," he said nervously. "You try and kill me ― my dogsll jump you all at once. Theyll tear you to pieces."
"Oh, I dont know about that. Youre their boss, right? Ive heard before that dogs lose their will to fight if their boss gets defeated."
"Th―Thats not true― hey, really, cut it out. Its dangerous."
"Back your dogs down."
"Fine." Inukashi snapped his fingers. The dogs spun on their heels at once, and disappeared into the darkness.
"I see. Youve trained them well."
"Thanks for the compliment," Inukashi said sullenly. "Funny how it doesnt seem to make me feel any better. So are you gonna get your heavy a.s.s off me or not? A love scene with you isnt exactly something Ive been itching to do lately."
"Dont worry," Nezumi said pleasantly, "its the last thing Id want to be doing either. I wouldnt even do it if I got paid to on-stage."
After he had freed Inukashi and put away his knife, Nezumi posed his question anew.
"What was all that for?"
Inukashi clucked his tongue while he brushed the leaves off his clothes.
"I took it upon myself to give you a private lesson."
"What?"
"The fact is, youre not as strong as you think. I just thought Id teach you that. Youve got skill, though. Not many people can get that far against me and my dogs."
"Why, thanks for the compliment. Funny how its not making me feel better."
"But youre not any superhuman or monster," Inukashi continued. "Youre just a human. And a man can only do so much by himself."
There was a dull pain in Nezumis shoulder. Blood flowed in streams down his arm.
A fleeting thought crossed Nezumis mind. This was the same spot where he had gotten the bullet wound which Shion had treated four years ago.
"Nezumi!"
He could hear Shions voice calling him. The light of a lamp bobbed nearer.
"Looks like the little lad has come to fetch you himself," Inukashi snickered quietly. "Well, let me excuse myself then―" Then, somewhat rushed, he added, "Nezumi, theres something weird going on inside No. 6."
"Weird?"
"I dont know the details. Ive heard that theres some weird disease going around, but I dont know for sure. Im gonna look into it. And Im going to be getting information about the inside of the Correctional Facility soon. It looks like things are starting to get busy for them too. Its gonna get pretty interesting, I can smell it ― my dogs nose is telling me. So―"
"So?"
"So count me in ― Im gonna help you out."
Inukashis hand reached out, and clapped Nezumi firmly on the shoulder. A vicious pain shot through him. Nezumi groaned, and fell to his knees with a hand pressed to his shoulder.
"See ya. Ill be in touch soon." Inukashi melted into the inky darkness faster than his dogs had disappeared. As he faded, Shions footsteps approached nearer.
"Nezumi, did something happen?"
Shion held the lamp up to Nezumi as he got to his feet. His eyes widened in alarm.
"What happened to you? Youre bleeding!"
"I got attacked by a dog."
"A dog? Why?"
"It was just some mongrel. I guess it thought I was a cute little bunny rabbit. What are you doing here?"
Hamlet poked its head out from Shions sweater pocket.
"He came to get me," Shion said. "I thought something mightve happened to you."
"So you came to help. With one lamp."
"Yeah." Shion brought the lamp closer to Nezumis wound, and furrowed his brow.
"We have to get this treated. Lets go home. Can you walk?"
"Of course."
Shions slipped a hand under Nezumis armpit, as if to support him. Nezumi brushed him away, and began to walk ahead. His shoulder throbbed painfully. But he wasnt about to cling onto the hand that was extended to him. If he learned to lean on someone, he would never be able to walk on his own again. The helping hand was always fickle, and disappeared just as suddenly as it was offered. That was how things were.
Once they returned to their underground room, Shion sprang into action, briskly taking the appropriate steps. He checked the wound, cleaned, and disinfected it.
"You gonna sew it up again?"
"The wound isnt that bad this time, unfortunately," Shion said, in a rare rueful grin as he closed the emergency kit. "Freaked out a bit, didnt you, Nezumi? Thought youd go through the same thing as four years ago?"
"A bit is an overstatement. With you, I feel like Id end up with st.i.tches for a bug bite."
"How rude," Shion smiled. "I still think the treatment I gave you four years ago was the appropriate thing to do."
Four years ago, on that stormy night ― yes, on the night he had first met Shion ― No. 6 had been in the midst of a hurricane. He still remembered, ever so vividly, the window flung open as if to invite him in; twelve-year-old Shion as he poked his face out; Youre hurt, arent you? Ill treat your wound ― words that he had never expected; the satisfied smile that had spread over Shions face the moment he had completed the suture; the sweetness of the cocoa; the delicious taste of the cherry cake; the comfort of the bed; the sound of quiet, slumbering breaths right beside him as he awoke the next morning ― he couldnt forget any of it, no matter how hard he tried. Even when he tried to discard it, he could never quite bring himself to.
Each and every miraculous occurrence of that night still remained with him as tangible sensations, never fading in the least over the four years until now.
Did people call them memories? A mental record? Or did they call it fate?
It was easy enough to laugh at people, calling them indulgent and weak, when they accepted others unconditionally and tried to save them. Indeed, as a result of taking Nezumi in, Shion had lost almost all of his privileges and fortune.
How much easier things would have been if he was able to dismiss Shion with a condescending laugh, this naive boy, this petri-dish elite who had grown up oblivious to society. But it was too bitter to laugh at and be done with. It was too vivid to forget. And to throw away, it was much too heavy.
"Shion."
"Hm?"
"Do you really think so?"
Shions hands stopped in the middle of winding a bandage.
"Four years ago. Do you really think it was the appropriate thing to do?"
"Well, we were in pretty limited surroundings," Shion said slowly. "Back then, though, that would have been the most I could do. Now, maybe I would be able to sew it up a bit better." The long fingers of his deft-looking hands moved as nimbly as they looked, winding the bandage tightly and neatly.
"Not just about my injury. About the whole night."
After he had knotted the ends of the bandage with care, Shion studied Nezumis eyes.
"Your life turned 180 degrees that night. Can you still say, even now, that what you did wasnt a mistake?"
"Yeah." His answer was so prompt, Nezumi was caught off-guard.
"You dont regret it?"
"No."
"Not even a bit?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Nezumi, I dont really understand what youre trying to ask. But Ive done a little thinking myself since moving to Lost Town. I wondered, if I were to go back in time, and return to that night four years ago ― if I were to return to before I met you, what would I do?"
Shion smiled sheepishly, and pushed the emergency kit to the back of the shelf.
"I thought about it, over and over again. And every time, there was only one answer. No matter how many times Id return to that night, Id do the same thing again. Id open the window, and wait for you."
"Even if you knew that your own ruin would be waiting beyond it?"
"But there wasnt any ruin," Shion replied softly. "I dont think my being here like this has ruined me at all. Right, Cravat?"
The small brown mouse nodded from its perch atop a stack of books.
"That ones Hamlet, isnt it?"
"Hamlets sleeping on the bed."
"Oh. Right. ― Geez, you had to go giving them stupid names, now its more confusing than before."
"The poor guys deserve names, its the least you can do. Both of them are smart and courageous. Like Hamlet today, when he let me know that you were in danger."
"Well, he went to the wrong person. Even if you showed up, you wouldnt be much help. It was alright this time because Id already chased the dogs away, but if I hadnt, youd probably be the one sitting there with a gaping wound."
"Yeah, well ― I guess youre right about that one."
Nezumi stood up, and grabbed Shion by the arm.
"Never do something like that again, you hear me? Whatever happens, dont flatter yourself and think you can be any help to me."
Shion stared back at him with unblinking eyes. Nezumi lifted his chin, and clenched his jaw.
"Youre powerless, you remember that. You dont have the skill or the mentality it takes to fight. Youre like a chick thats fallen out of its nest. Youd just chirp-chirp-chirp until youre eaten by a fox. So do yourself a favour, and dont go walking into dangers path. Dont do it, ever. Use your head. Put your so-called gifted brain into motion, full-throttle, and use your judgment to a.s.sess the situation. Geez, I dont know what the h.e.l.l you were thinking, running out into the darkness without even carrying a weapon."
"I wasnt."
"What?"
"I wasnt thinking at all, of the situation, or of danger. I was already running before I could stop to think."
"Thats why Im saying, Shion, next time, dont ever do something as foolish or reckless."
"Then what should I do?"
"Dont do anything. Theres nothing you could do anyway. Pull a blanket over your head or something, and stay quiet."
Shion dropped his gaze, and shook his head.
"I cant do that," he said quietly. "I cant stay there and sit still when I know youre in trouble. I wouldve burst outside either way."
"Youd just be a hindrance."
"Thats harsh," Shion said softly.
"Its the truth."
"Nezumi ― youre right," he relented. "Im useless. I dont know how to fight, and I would never be able to bring myself to hurt anyone."
"Yeah, and as a soldier, that would put you in the lowest rank. No ― actually, youd be a write-off. So dont even think about fighting. You dont have the mental leverage to be worrying about other people. You cant even protect yourself. So dont do anything. Im begging you, just dont go near any dangerous places."
What the h.e.l.l am I saying?
Nezumi clenched his jaw again.
What was he saying? What was he doing, getting serious about this? Was he that bent on stopping Shion?
Shions gonna go alone.
Inukashis low voice echoed in his ears.
Yes, Shion would probably go alone. Hed set out to a place with less than one in a million chances of returning alive, and hed go alone, without begging for my help, without even telling me. He would go silently, not knowing anything about fighting, not knowing the pain of shedding blood or the chilling horrors of murderous intent. The useless, big-headed, oblivious idiot.
"But its not about reasoning," Shion said quietly, puncturing the silence.
"Huh? Did you say something?"
"Its not about reasoning, Nezumi. I know very well in my head that even if I were to show up, I wouldnt be of any help to you ― I wouldnt be able to save you. I know."
"Good for you. The grey matter in your head is about the only thing you can boast about, anyway. And if your head knows, then take its advice."
"No."
Shion pursed his lips firmly, his expression defiant. It was the face of one whose willpower ran strong and deep. It was Nezumis first time seeing Shion with a face like this.
"Its not about reasoning!" Shion said heatedly. "Back there, when Hamlet came to call me, I was scared. I thought something had happened to you. I thought you were going to die. Are you telling me I shouldve just stopped and calculated in my head? Figured that it wouldnt do any good if I went anyway, and just sat still? I could never do that. How could I? How could I be cool and calm and think about whether I have or dont have the strength, whether I can or cant help you? How could anyone? Idiot!"
It was his second time being called an idiot by Shion. Both times, Nezumi wasnt able to predict Shions explosion of anger. The first time, Nezumi had told Shion, Dont cry for other people. Dont get into fights for other people. Fight and cry only for yourself. Shion had said that he didnt understand. It was true, he hadnt understood. For this time, again, Shion had burst out into the darkness for a stranger. Casting aside the reason which warned him of the risks, he had gone running into the darkness. It was dangerous. Very dangerous. Nezumi had been prepared for Shion to become shackles that bound his ankles. But there was also the opposite. There was a possibility that he himself would become the fetters that bound Shions wrists.
This is why―
Nezumi averted his gaze from the boy in front of him.
This is why humans are troublesome. The more you involve yourself with them, the tighter the shackles become. They hinder free movement. It becomes harder to live only for yourself. Maybe we should never have met. Maybe one day, Shion, youd come to think so.
Shions shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep breath. He stuck his lip out in a disgruntled manner.
"Nezumi, why arent you saying anything?"
"No reason."
"Go on and laugh if you want to. You probably just think its all gibberish from someone who doesnt know a thing about the world, right? Fine. Laugh to your hearts content. Go on, laugh."
"Wait a minute, Shion," Nezumi said hastily, "its not like Im mocking you. I just, well... Im just saying its dangerous to jump into danger like that, without thinking about―"
"I know that!" Shion said hotly. "But I couldnt help it, alright, I was worried sick. Or am I not even allowed to worry about you? Dont I even have the right to be worried?"
"The right? Shion, youre not making sense."
"Youre the one making me talk like this!"
Shions fist pounded the bookcase. A mound of books collapsed. Cravat gave an alarmed screech, and skittered into the folds of Nezumis clothes.
Shion blinked, and his cheeks flushed. He bent to pick up the books, and mumbled an apology in a subdued voice.
"Im sorry, I just ― I didnt mean to yell."
"I dont mind," Nezumi said lightly. "I must say it was quite alluring to see you all worked up like that. Something Id like to be treated to again once in a while."
"It seems like Im always worked up when Im with you," Shion sighed. "Im surprised at how emotional I can get sometimes."
"Youve always been an emotional person. You always choose feeling over reason, and youre not ashamed to be truthful to your emotions. Four years ago, it was the same. Even when you were a candidate for the elite echelons of No. 6, you still obeyed your emotions and took me in."
"Yeah... obeyed my emotions..." he said pensively. "I guess youre right."
Shion stacked the books neatly, and exhaled.
"But you know, Nezumi, I really dont regret it. Im still glad that I didnt turn my back on my feelings that night."
"I know."
"Huh?"
"I know you dont regret a single bit of what you did. I just asked on a whim. I guess I was probably bored, or something."
He brought a hand to his shoulder. The bandages, which were old and worn, and would have lost all elasticity by now, wrapped themselves tightly around his shoulder and arm joint, and showed no signs of loosening.
"I wouldnt have been able to dress my wound this well," Nezumi said reflectively. "You might not be able to fight, but you can probably treat people. Everyone has something. And probably―"
"Probably?"
"No, never mind. Say, Im hungry, arent you?"
Shion gazed at Nezumi, and gave a gentle smile.
"Theres bread and meat on the table. Some stuff happened, and theres only a little bit left, but it should be enough for dinner."
"What about you?"
"Im going to sleep. Your wound is probably gonna keep you up tonight, so you can have the bed to yourself. Ill sleep on the floor."
"How kind of you."
"Nezumi."
"Hm?"
"If I hadnt met you, I probably would never have realized what kind of person I was, huh?"
"Whyre you bringing this up now?"
Shion drew nearer to Nezumi as he sat in his chair, and looked him straight in the eye.
"I would have grown up into a mild, rational, obedient adult, without even knowing there were so many emotions inside of me. I would never have known what it was like to cry, or get angry, or feel resistance toward something. I met you, and I realized how much abundance I had. And Im proud that I know now."
Shion clipped his words, and hesitantly lowered his eyes.
"Im glad I met you."
It came out as a whisper that he could barely catch. Shion bent down, his eyes still lowered. His lips brushed lightly against Nezumis.
A book fell somewhere with a soft whump.
As Shion lifted his face again, Nezumi spoke.
"Not a thank-you kiss, is it?"
"Its a good-night kiss."
"Good-night, huh."
"Im going to be shearing the dogs tomorrow," Shion said. "There are a whole lot of them with long fur. Inukashi just leaves them, so their fur gets all tangled and theyre starting to get skin inflammation."
"I just got bitten by a dog, alright? I dont care if they have short fur or long fur, I dont even want to hear about dogs right now."
Shion laughed out loud, and gave a casual wave of his hand.
"Good night, then."
"Yeah. Sweet dreams."
"You too."
Shion disappeared into the shadows of the books. Cravat crawled out from Nezumis clothes and scampered after him, perhaps intending to sleep with him too.
"Good-night kiss, huh."
Nezumi traced his lips with his fingers, and slumped back in his chair.
"Some liar you are."
His gnawing hunger, exhaustion, and throbbing pain ebbed away. In its place, something welled up from deep within. Sadness, loneliness ― it wasnt quite either. What was it? A hot bead rolled down his cheek. It took him a while to understand that they were tears. He had long forgotten what it was like to cry.
It tasted salty, like over-salted soup.
Nezumi propped his knees up and put his head down on them. Slowly, he swallowed the tears that seeped into his mouth.
-- END OF CHAPTER 4 --
Notes
Translated from the j.a.panese. (back)
Font credit to JOEBOB Graphics for Joe Hand 2 (Karan).