Maria-sama ga Miteru Volume 10 Chapter 4
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On the Tuesday that Yoshino had unilaterally chosen for reconciliation, Rei-chan was absent from school.
According to Rei-chans mother, she had a temperature late Monday night and while fever medicine had temporarily cooled her down, her condition worsened in the morning so she was having the day off.
On the trip home yesterday Rei-chan had been silent, like on the way to school, but she hadnt really looked sick. Maybe shed spent so long in the bath thinking about things that she came down with a cold. How pathetic.
"Ah, maybe its my fault &h.e.l.lip; "
The student murmured, gathering her shoulder-length hair in her hands as she stood in front of her cla.s.sroom.
Before school started, Yoshino made her way to the third-year plum cla.s.sroom, having been asked by her aunt to tell them that Rei-chan would be having a two or three day break from the kendo club. And, having heard the details, it was club president Nojimas voice that said, "my fault."
"Umm, why would it be your fault?"
Yoshino asked, not understanding. As background, the club presidents house was a long way away from Yoshinos, and in the conversation with her aunty neither the words club president nor the name Nojima were mentioned. How she could be connected to Rei-chans illness was a complete unknown.
"Well, I called Rei-san last night."
As she said this, club president Nojima had a pained expression on her face.
"Ahh."
But even supposing they had talked for a long time, she wouldnt be responsible for the health of the person on the other end of the phone, right? As a high-school student, surely Rei-chan should be responsible for making sure she was wearing enough clothes that she didnt catch a cold.
"At first I was telling her about what happened during yesterdays club activities."
"Mmm."
Rei-chan had skipped out on those yesterday so that she could welcome Noriko-chan to the Rose Mansion.
"Then the conversation turned to you, Yoshino-chan."
"Huh!?"
"Rei-san knew that you wanted to join the club, but apparently she hadnt heard that youd handed in an application form. So - "
You put your foot in it, club president.
"Im sorry. I guess I messed up, right?"
Club president Nojima looked depressed, at a loss for what to do.
"&h.e.l.lip; No."
They hadnt agreed to keep it secret, so Yoshino had no right to get mad at her. It was just unlucky, she thought. Yoshino had planned to come clean with Rei-chan this morning.
"Rei-san seemed to be quite shocked by it."
In that case, it was more like it was Yoshinos fault then the club presidents - but, what? Rei-chan came down with a temperature because of shock? How pathetic.
The fire that had been extinguished within Yoshinos heart was once again starting to flare up.
What are you playing at, Rei-chan? - Yoshino balled her hand into a fist and glared in the direction of her house.
"Umm &h.e.l.lip; Yoshino-chan?"
"Club president."
Yoshino spun around abruptly and faced the club president.
"Yes?"
The club president put herself on guard, as though unsure of what was about to happen. It was the inevitable response from someone who had been watching Yoshino for a while.
"Right or wrong, Im going to join the kendo club."
"Okay?"
"So, I look forward to working with you."
Yoshino bowed extremely deeply then walked away from the third-year plum cla.s.sroom, satisfied. With that decided, she had other arrangements she had to make elsewhere.
Left behind, the club presidents exhausted muttering echoed down the corridor.
"&h.e.l.lip; What just happened?"
The young lady with pigtails skipped away, then quickly turned a corner in the corridor.
"Ill introduce you to the club member whos going to be guiding you from today."
Yoshino was taken aback when she saw who club president Nojima was introducing her to.
"Welcome aboard, Yoshino-san."
"&h.e.l.lip; Tanuma Chisato."
Yoshino said her full name, without thinking. Of all people, her despised rival for the half-day date with Rei-chan. Also, the person from a somewhat sorrowful memory.
"Well, Ill leave the rest to you, Tanuma-san."
Then the club president left, leaving just the two of them at the edge of the dojo. Inside, the other club members had already started practicing their swings.
Wednesday, after school.
Yoshinos club application had involved the club president, club adviser, school nurse, school doctor and her own family doctor, and had even been raised as a topic for discussion at the staff meeting on Tuesday, but after much wrangling, in the end her application was provisionally accepted.
The relative speed with which it had all been resolved led Yoshino to believe that her "arrangements" had been effective. Although she called them arrangements, they werent anything particularly grandiose. It just involved Yoshino going around to everyone, telling them about how she had wanted to do kendo ever since she was young, how she was so happy because after her surgery it felt like her dream was finally coming true, and that she promised not to worry anyone by overdoing it. That was all.
It may have been exaggerating things slightly, but it wasnt a lie. It was the results of the high spirits she was in about joining the club while Rei-chan had irresponsibly gone and gotten herself sick.
If someone in authority decided that there was an impediment to Yoshino continuing kendo, then she would abide by their decision. - That was one of the conditions attached to Yoshino joining the club. In other words, the moment someone said something like, "Youre looking tired, so thats enough for today," or, "You dont look so well, take the day off," she had to hand over the shinai.
Yoshino thought it should be fine because her body was in good health, but she was slightly concerned that someone in authority included a person by the name of Hasekura Rei. Rei-chan had been given the power to snuff out her kendo life with a single word.
"Since when have you been in the kendo club?"
Yoshino asked Tanuma Chisato, while sneaking a glance at the ongoing practice.
"I joined at the end of first-year. That makes me your senior, just by a little. So it was quite an honor for me to be chosen as your guide."
At the end of first-year, so that could have been right after that date. Yoshino thought Chisato-san might have come to hate seeing Rei-chans face, but apparently she was impudent and had a lot of nerve.
Shed boldly cut her shoulder-length hair, although not as short as Rei-chans, and although it hurt Yoshino to admit this, it looked good on her. Much better than before - really, it was annoying how good she looked.
"Why do I need a guide?"
"Youve joined midway through second-year. Not only are you inexperienced with kendo, but you havent really done any strenuous exercise before, right?"
"Well, excuse me &h.e.l.lip; So what?"
"Geez, just listen. When someone like that knocks on the door, you cant just give them a shinai straight away and let them have at it. So, first of all, we have to build up your core strength. You understand that much, right?"
The way she spoke rubbed Yoshino the wrong way, but Yoshino had been rude first so she let it slide.
"Build my core strength? Doing what?"
"Stretching, weights, light running, that kind of thing."
So shed be doing endless warm-up exercises during club practice. It looks like the first-years whod joined as novices at the start of the year had been following this training regime and had only recently been allowed to wield the shinai.
"So, you mean, Ill have to do that all by myself?"
In the dojo, the practice swings continued. Mixed in amongst the sounds were the artless cries of those whod apparently only just started kendo.
"Thats why Im with you as your guide. Dont whine, I went through all the same things when I joined without complaint. Now, lets get going."
While she wasnt wearing any kendo armor, she was in her gym clothes, and when someone in a track suit is told, "Lets get going," the only possible response is, "Okay." It was annoying that she was being guided by someone whose career was only a couple of months longer than her own, but Chisato-san wasnt someone she had to fight so it would have been counterproductive to futilely cry about it.
"Yoshino-san. Your body is really stiff. Do some training at home before your bath, okay?"
Chisato-san spoke her mind as she pushed on Yoshinos back. But she wasnt wrong in what she said, so Yoshino couldnt object.
"Chisato-san."
"Yeah?"
"Ah, its nothing."
Yoshino started to speak, then stopped. Although shed called out, she didnt really know what she wanted to say.
"Whats nothing?"
"Ah, can you go a bit easier on my back?"
"Like this?"
Chisato-san smiled as she pushed harder and harder on Yoshinos back. The back of her knees were stretched taut.
Back when Chisato-san had joined, who had been her guide? Yoshino was a bit bothered by this, but she didnt want Chisato-san to know, so she put all of her concentration into stretching forward.
(Rei-chan never said anything about Chisato-san.)
It wasnt a big deal, but it was bothering her.
After taking into account her suspicions, Yoshino vanquished the unworthy thought that Rei-chan was trying to keep her away from the kendo club because Chisato-san was there.
As if that would happen.
At the foundation of their relationship was trust.
The sound of the club president leading the younger girls reached her ears. It seemed incredibly strange to Yoshino that Rei-chan wasnt there.
Thursday lunch.
Theyd been called to the Rose Mansion, so Yoshino left the cla.s.sroom carrying her lunch. Her cla.s.smate Yumi-san was with her.
"Hows the kendo club?"
"Hm, so-so."
At the moment, it felt more like a "Stretching / marathon / weight training a.s.sociation." Shed only been there for one day, but already her legs felt tired and sore.
"Hang in there."
"&h.e.l.lip; Thanks."
Yoshino responded with an equally insipid expression of grat.i.tude to the listless encouragement from her friend. They were both pretty exhausted.
Even though they were exhausted, they still had to do their Yamayurikai duties at lunch. Work had already started for the school festival in autumn.
After school, the remaining members would gather and work on things individually, but the work just kept on coming, so they didnt have any free time. Rei-chan was down, and Sachiko-sama would go home early to deal with family matters or something, so with the main people out it was only natural that it would end up like this.
"Ah."
Yoshino spotted Shimako-san ahead of them in the hallway. Rosa Gigantea was always so beautiful that she grabbed peoples attention, but the sight of her keeping her melancholy (perhaps caused by the sudden disappearance of the suns rays) to herself made her look kind of seductive.
The three girls exchanged smiles but omitted saying "Gokigenyou," then continued walking alongside each other.
"Is Noriko-chan coming?"
"No."
Shimako-san shook her head, as though the answer should have been obvious. Which probably meant that they still hadnt officially become soeurs. Talk about indecisive.
Yoshino had no idea why Shimako-san was hesitating. She should just give her the rosary and become soeurs. They both knew that, and due to Nijou Norikos nature, no-one would oppose them.
Although, come to think of it, things were kind of like this during Shimako-san and Satou Sei-samas time. The two involved seemed to be bothered by something, but Yoshino had no idea what. This time around, there were probably some things they had to work through, but why was it taking so long?
If she likes her, give her the rosary. If not, send her away. - It was such a simple thing, that should cover it.
"Gokigenyou."
A group of first-years had been lying in wait in the hallway that ran past the first-year cla.s.srooms and called out warmly to Yoshinos group.
"Gokigenyou everyone."
Beset by exhaustion, Yoshino couldnt conjure up her usual smile.
Besides, it would be a pain if they were stopped here, and by walking on looking downcast it made it hard for the first-years to follow after them.
Phrases like, "hiding their sorrow," itched at Yoshinos ears from behind, but going back and correcting the first-years would be foolish, so she continued on.
There was no need to shatter those girls illusions. Deliberately, she walked slowly.
"Whats the matter?"
Shimako-san asked, when the first-years had disappeared from view.
"What do you mean, whats the matter?"
Yoshino and Yumi-san called out in harmony, although they hadnt rehea.r.s.ed beforehand.
"Well &h.e.l.lip; "
Shimako-san said that they were being unusually quiet.
"Quiet?"
Yumi-san pointed out that Yoshino had hardly said a word, prompting Yoshino to highlight Yumi-sans gloomy face. Apparently things werent going well with Sachiko-sama, or so Yoshino thought.
"Its just her imagination, right?"
After this denial, they resumed walking. But, in truth, Yoshino had noticed it too. The reason she hadnt said a word wasnt just because she was tired from club activities. The gloomy faces she was seeing werent just because of the poor weather.
Just as they stepped out into the courtyard, all three of them sighed simultaneously.
"What?"
Blind to her own shortcomings, Yoshino attacked the other two. Not knowing how to handle her own emotions, she was getting more and more depressed by those around her.
"What do you mean?"
Yumi-san responded honestly, pushing out her lips in a pout. And then.
"Is there something bothering you two?"
Shimako-san asked, sounding concerned.
"Theres no way you can talk to someone whos sighing, right?"
Yoshino bluntly responded. That was probably an outburst of anger. Looking at lovable Shimako-sans face, it had just come blurting out.
"Especially when theres not that many different species of sighs."
Yoshino felt like she had to follow that up, but the words that came out of her mouth werent much of a follow-up. Instead, it sounded more like something she wanted to tell herself.
As they were entering the Rose Mansion, Shimako-san said there was something she had to attend to and headed back towards the school building. Yoshino was a bit worried by that.
"I guess I hurt her feelings."
Yoshino said, seeking confirmation from Yumi-san, but she simply refuted it with, "I dont think thats it." Even so, Yoshino was bothered by it, and she grabbed Yumi-sans hand to stop her climbing further up the stairs and asked:
"You know, sometimes Ill get carried away and not pay attention to things around me. Do I, unknowingly, make things worse for other people?"
"Huh?"
Yumi-san asked with a puzzled look on her face.
"Ive probably done it to you, Yumi-san."
"Ive never really - "
"Sure."
Even though the burden on club-less Yumi-san must have increased when Yoshino started her club activities.
Noriko-chan coming to a.s.sist had helped out a bit, but the three second-years were all without pet.i.t soeurs, so theyd constantly been short-handed since the start of the school year.
It would have been better if she hadnt started club activities - such were Yoshinos thoughts when she considered it calmly. Even if Yumi-san didnt think that, there were probably plenty of people who did.
"I guess I should get a pet.i.t soeur."
Yoshino mumbled as she climbed the creaky stairs.
"&h.e.l.lip;Why do you say that?"
"Ive been thinking about it for a while. Two boutons isnt enough to support the Roses."
"Youd take a pet.i.t soeur just for the manpower?"
Yumi-san stopped climbing the staircase and looked at Yoshino in amazement.
"Someone like Shimako-san might be opposed to it, but that kind of clear contract is one option, right?"
"Yeah &h.e.l.lip; but &h.e.l.lip; "
She couldnt bring herself to agree.
"At any rate, I need to spread my emotions."
Yoshino finished climbing the stairs and let out a huge sigh.
If she kept thinking only about Rei-chan, her brains would boil and scorch her skull.
On Friday, Rei-chan finally came to school.
"Morning."
"Morning."
It was awkward, but they exchanged greetings and then went out the gate. It had only been three days since theyd seen each other, but Rei-chan looked noticeably worn out. She wasnt staggering or anything, but as they walked alongside each other Yoshino found herself wanting to ask Rei-chan if she was alright, out of concern.
But it would surely hurt Rei-chans pride to have Yoshino support her, or carry her school bag for her, so Yoshino didnt make the offer.
Really, it was shocking, but that was all she knew.
"Yoshino."
Rei-chan looked straight ahead as she spoke to Yoshino walking beside her.
"I hear youve officially joined the kendo club."
"&h.e.l.lip; Yeah."
Feeling a bit guilty, Yoshino replied without making direct eye-contact either.
Who it was was unknown, but someone had apparently informed Rei-chan of what happened during her absence. Well, it wouldnt be an exaggeration to say that everyone in the kendo club was on Rei-chans side, so it was only natural that someone would have told her.
"Well, even though Ive joined, all Im doing is warm-up exercises."
It had been a while since theyd last talked, so Yoshino was getting a bit excited. As Yoshino soared, she tried her hardest to convey her thoughts. While she had been the one to start the fight, she was trying to encourage a friendly conversation so that they could naturally make up.
But Rei-chan coolly said, "I see," and nodded her head.
"Your life is your own, Yoshino. I have no right to stop you."
"Rei-chan &h.e.l.lip; ?"
Yoshino didnt understand what Rei-chan wanted to say. Was it an acceptance of her club activities, or a rejection, or even an inability to decide? Yoshino didnt know how to respond.
"While I was in bed, I thought about a lot of things."
"Thought &h.e.l.lip; about what?"
"About kendo, and about soeurs, and about other things."
In other words, she thought about Yoshino. She should have just said that straight out.
"Which led to something that needs contemplation. Because it goes to the heart of how soeurs are supposed to be."
"Huh?"
"Our relationship is different to normal soeurs. Which is why we always have these kinds of fights."
"Hmm &h.e.l.lip; well, that may be true."
Yoshino agreed vaguely, unsure of where the conversation was going. It may have just been because she was worn out, but Rei-chans face looked unusually serious, and Yoshinos heart whispered that it was times like these when extreme care was needed.
"You know, Yoshino, as your onee-sama, I could admonish you to stop club activities."
"Admonish? Implore, right?"
"Implore, maybe &h.e.l.lip; But, you probably wouldnt go along with it."
"If you were right, I would. But your reasons for objecting arent very persuasive."
Who would give up on joining the club just because they were told about morning practices, or that it was a barefoot world, or that it was strict? If Yoshino was repelled by that, then it seemed like no-one would ever join the kendo club.
"Its always puzzled me why it always comes to this."
"Isnt it tied up with how were different to other soeurs?"
"Maybe it was a mistake for us to become soeurs in the first place."
Rei-chan spoke very calmly as she said something that was very close to a break-up line.
"What are you trying to say?"
"If youre going to do what you want, then I have to rethink things too."
Rei-chan stopped walking and turned to Yoshino, a serious look on her face as she spoke deliberately and clearly.
"Ive had enough of being blown off by you."
Rei-chan made an appearance at the kendo club not long after returning to school.
The club president wasnt at practice because she had an evening dentist appointment, so Rei-chan took over leading the younger students.
Which was why Yoshino too headed to the martial arts building after school. She was a bit worried about the Yamayurikai work, but Yumi-san had said it was okay, so she was taking advantage of that. Rei-chan was many times more important.
Additionally, Yoshino was worried because she hadnt felt all that good in the morning. Taking a break from the club would be like losing to Rei-chan, which would also leave a bad feeling. But what she was most concerned about were Rei-chans profound words.
(Contemplating the heart of how soeurs are supposed to be, wasnt it?)
Yoshino thought as she did her warm-up exercises. Contemplating something, thats thinking about how it can be improved, right?
"Dont just move with the upper half of your body. See, youre legs arent moving at all."
Rei-chans voice reverberated around the dojo.
"Youre wide open from the side."
The kendo club was the only club using the martial arts building today, so they were using the entire dojo. Rei-chan was standing right in the middle, leading the younger students. With the sounds of practice as background music, Yoshino was off to the side doing her core strength training. She knew what to do, since shed been doing this since Wednesday, so Chisato-san had returned to her own training. It would have been a waste to keep her around indefinitely.
"Dont stare at where youre going to attack. Your opponent will read your movement."
That charming voice. Rei-chan always looks coolest when shes doing kendo. It seemed completely unbelievable that shed been absent due to illness up until today.
It had always been that way. With a shinai in her hand, Rei-chan looked sharp. And no-one looked more at home than her in gym clothes.
(One &h.e.l.lip; two &h.e.l.lip; three &h.e.l.lip; four)
Yoshino discreetly watched Rei-chans face in profile as she did her squats. For a while now, Rei-chan hadnt even glanced her way.
When theyd walked to school together, Rei-chan had said that she had to rethink things. Yoshino wondered if that meant she was going to be ignored during club activities.
(And what was up with, "It was a mistake for cousins to become soeurs?")
Who knows. Yoshinos thighs and calves screamed in pain, and her b.u.t.t thumped into the floor. She wasnt thinking properly and on top of that her body was exhausted.
Rei-chan noticed and glanced her way. Yoshino quickly flashed her the peace sign and she turned away again.
(Oh, whats with that?)
Nothing more than bad vibes. Idiot, bringing their personal lives into the club activities.
As she cursed in her head, Yoshino wiped away her sweat with her towel, then used it to dry the floor so she wouldnt slip.
(Seriously, what the h.e.l.l.)
Yoshino thought she was the idiot. Even if she hadnt known how to react, why had she held up those two fingers? Especially to someone she was fighting with.
She would have been better off holding up one finger, her middle finger. - Although that was completely unthinkable behavior for a student of Lillians Girls Academy.
"Yoshino-san, time to finish up."
Chisato-san called out as she mopped the floor, having finished her practice.
"Yeah, just a little bit more."
The training regime made by the club adviser and president was, to Yoshino, a Herculean task for her to finish in time.
It would probably be a piece of cake for a regular second-year high-school student, but since Yoshino couldnt even do three push-ups in a row, there was a lot of time spent resting.
Time and again, Yoshino really felt her lack of core strength. This was what she got for having flat-out missed all PE cla.s.ses during compulsory schooling.
The advice that she should build up her physical strength before touching a shinai felt right.
"Dont overdo it. The training regimes just a rough guide."
Chisato-san squatted as she flapped the cleaning cloth. At least Chisato-san treated Yoshino like a regular club member.
At the best of times, someone joining during second-year would be considered harebrained, but Yoshino was Hasekura Reis pet.i.t soeur.
The first-years, understandably, kept their distance from someone who was in a lower position than them in the club, but still their senior, and with the pompous t.i.tle Rosa Foetida en bouton to boot.
A lot of the second-years had joined the club aiming for Rei-chan, and most of them werent amused by Yoshino stepping into what they regarded as their territory.
With the exception of Rei-chan and the club president, most of the third-years would only show up occasionally, half-way through the transition to being members on paper only.
"You can go home too, Chisato-san. Ill take care of the floor here before I go."
Except for a roughly two metre square area around Yoshino, Chisato-san had finished mopping the floor. The other club members had already departed one by one after finishing their cleaning tasks. Yoshino realized it was just her and Chisato-san left in the dojo. Rei-chan wasnt anywhere to be seen either.
"Ill help out, then we can go home together."
Chisato-sans words were achingly kind. But Yoshino shook her head.
"Its okay. I can do it myself."
She dug her heels in. No matter how long it took, Yoshino wouldnt be going home until shed finished the task set before her.
"But it looks like its going to rain."
"Yeah."
Perhaps washing her hands of Yoshinos stubbornness, Chisato-san let out a sigh and put the wash cloth down.
"&h.e.l.lip; Take it easy, okay."
"Thanks."
The sounds of her footsteps gradually faded into the distance. Yoshino silently continued her stretching. Now that she was alone, the dojo suddenly felt vast and cold.
Yoshino was fine even if no-one else was there. On the contrary, it was better for her concentration.
Even though no-one was watching, Yoshino didnt even think about taking short-cuts. It wasnt really because she believed the sisters favorite saying, "Maria-sama is always watching you." It was because she didnt want to lose.
(Lose? Who on earth to?)
To herself, perhaps. Either that, or to Rei-chan.
It felt like both, and neither. Or, rather, inside Yoshinos heart dwelt a vague form that was "Myself and Rei-chan," with no well defined boundary.
Having finished her entire training regime, as she started to mop the floor, Yoshino heard footsteps from someone entering the dojo. Even without seeing their face, she knew who it was. Yoshinos conscience, Rei-chan.
"Didnt you go home?"
"I was about to, but I couldnt."
"Hmm."
Even though it looked like shed just suddenly appeared, Rei-chan had probably been lurking somewhere within the martial arts building, keeping track of what was going on in the dojo. Despite a fair amount of time having pa.s.sed, she was still in her gym clothes.
Yoshino washed the cloth in the bucket then squeezed it tightly.
"Im not going to quit."
"Yeah. I know youre determined. Youre working hard."
It made Yoshino really glad to hear Rei-chan say she was working hard. But it would have been annoying to show that on her face, so she scrubbed the floor.
"Even so, youre not happy with it, Rei-chan."
"Its not that Im not happy. Its that Im troubled."
Rei-chan squatted down and let out a sigh.
"Troubled?"
"Yeah. Its too much for me to handle."
Perhaps at a loose end, Rei-chan reached into the bucket and took out the cloth, but Yoshino quickly s.n.a.t.c.hed it back. This was Yoshinos job. There was no reason for Rei-chan to help.
"Probably."
Rei-chan smiled bitterly and stood up, stepping back from the bucket.
"I thought that maybe I was protecting my territory."
"Your territory? The kendo club?"
"Yeah. Or, rather, my place in the kendo club. How do I look to you when Im doing club activities?"
"You look totally cool. The way you lead the younger students."
Rei-chan then put what Yoshino was thinking into words.
"Yeah, I really like that side of myself."
How brazen, just coming out and saying that.
"Okay. Then, wouldnt this be a good thing?"
By Yoshino joining the kendo club, Rei-chan was blessed with a golden opportunity to show her cool side to her cute pet.i.t soeur.
"&h.e.l.lip; Its not."
Rei-chan sluggishly sat back down on the floor. She looked like she was close to tears as she ran her fingers through her short hair.
"Im hopeless with you here, Yoshino."
"Hopeless?"
"I lose my composure. I was desperately trying to keep it together today."
So that was why Rei-chan had been ignoring her.
"Has Yoshino been hit? Is she hurt? - Its pathetic, but thats all I can think about. At heart, I dont have a lot of mental strength. But I hide that, pretend to be strong, and thats how I can proudly lead the younger students."
"Yeah."
Yoshino nodded. Shed known that from the start.
"But this lame person? Theres no way she can guide the other students and Yoshino. The juniors are precious, but youre special. The moment I think that I have to treat you impartially, theres already a distinction within me."
It was just high-school club activities, but she was thinking about it so seriously. Well, that was one of Rei-chans good points too.
"In other words, youre scared that you might go easy on me."
"Or Ill think I cant go easy on you, and be overly strict."
"That so?"
Compared to the other reasons shed given so far, this was much easier to understand. Rei-chans honestly conveyed feelings left Yoshino instinctively agreeing with her.
"Go ahead and laugh at me. I said I was opposed to it because I was worried about your body, and I thought that was true, but I was wrong. Really, its about me."
"Im not going to laugh."
Yoshino dropped the washcloth and wrapped her arms around Rei-chans neck. The emotions, "Im sorry," "My sympathies," and "I love you," were all mixed together in her tight embrace.
Rei-chans troubles were born from Yoshino. Therefore, she wouldnt laugh.
"Ive turned into something I hate. Incredible, right? You should just give up on me, Yoshino."
"Rei-chan&h.e.l.lip;"
As her trembling voice escaped her body, tears made their way down Rei-chans cheeks. And, as though chasing them, rain started to pepper the martial arts buildings gla.s.s windows.
Spitter spatter. Spitter spatter. The martial arts building was filled with the sounds of rain.
"Are you telling me to return the rosary?"
Despite Yoshinos question, Rei-chan didnt deny it. By not saying anything, she was accepting it. Although she wasnt actively affirming it either.
Rei-chans words from that morning were connected to this. Yoshino hadnt realized. No, the thought, "Perhaps," had crossed her mind numerous times, but it had always been vanquished with an, "As if."
"Maybe youre right. That way, you wont be blown off by me any more."
As she said this, Yoshino tried to put a smile on her face, but it didnt work all that well. Yoshino had thought about returning the rosary to Rei-chan, but shed never considered being asked to give it back. No matter what Yoshino did, Rei-chan would never abandon her. In that way, shed sometimes take her for granted.
"Is that okay? Do you want nothing to do with me, Rei-chan?"
Yoshino grasped Rei-chans shoulders and held her close.
Now, confronted by this inconceivable situation, she was incredibly disturbed. Why did she have to lose Rei-chan, just because she joined the kendo club?
If asked to pick between Rei-chan and kendo, Yoshino would unhesitatingly choose Rei-chan. Rei-chan was so much more important that it would be impossible to even try to weigh them on the same set of scales. So Yoshino was confused as to why it had come to this.
"It wouldnt mean Id have nothing to do with you, Yoshino."
Rei-chan very clearly corrected her.
"My feelings for you havent lessened by even a milligram."
"Okay. In that case, its fine."
The disturbance in Yoshinos heart suddenly stopped completely. Rei-chan hadnt come to hate her. As long as she held on to this, it would be alright.
"Rei-chan. Ill do everything I can for you."
"Yoshino&h.e.l.lip;"
Those were her true feelings. No way in the world did she want victory over Rei-chans existence. Yoshino loved Rei-chan more than she loved herself. So the thing that made her happiest, was for Rei-chan to love her back.
"If you say I absolutely have to, Ill quit the kendo club. But, you know."
Yoshino offered, although she didnt think that that would be the end of it.
"If I quit, I think youll get even weaker, Rei-chan. The memory of running away from something difficult will stay with you, and youll feel indebted to me."
Yoshino was thinking as she spoke, so to stop Rei-chan from interrupting she talked faster as she went on and on.
"Thats why, right now, I dont want to quit. Either the kendo club, or as your pet.i.t soeur. Ill work as hard as I can so that I dont have to quit either. - Thats all."
Yoshino stopped and took a breath. Shed said all she wanted to say.
Rei-chan, whod listened to Yoshinos spiel in something of a daze, snapped back to reality at Yoshinos, "Thats all."
"&h.e.l.lip; How are you going to work hard?"
"Until youre okay with me being in the dojo, Ill stay in the kendo club. This way, your mental strength will grow."
"My mental strength&h.e.l.lip;"
Rei-chan