Maria-sama ga Miteru Volume 25 Chapter 7 Part3
After counting to 100 on the spot, she felt like shed calmed down a little bit.
Just a little bit.
While her boiling blood had gradually cooled, the waves of anger, sadness, disillusionment and despair that had accompanied it did not also disappear.
The thing she hated most was pity.
So she couldnt stand the thought of becoming a pet.i.t soeur due to pity. How could someone who didnt understand that ever think of being her onee-sama? It was unbelievable.
Shed reached 100 a while ago. But still Touko remained rooted to the spot.
Touko looked towards the school gate, where Yumi-sama would probably have disappeared to. She saw a group of university students walking together.
She could follow along behind them. Then get on a bus, then a train, and arrive home.
But once she arrived home, shed have to deal with the fact she had nowhere to go. Her only option would be to crawl into bed and cry.
Rejecting that, Touko turned towards the school buildings. The way things were, she wouldnt be able to contain her anger.
Even if it didnt change the situation, there was something she had to say.
(I wonder if shes still here.)
Touko looked at her watch. 1:30.
Her target may have already left a long time ago. In that case, all Touko could do was confirm that and head home. She retraced her footsteps.
Touko walked back alone along the path she had earlier taken with Yumi-sama. She pa.s.sed some girls that looked like third-years, but none of them were the girl she was looking for.
She made her way to the third-year shoe-box area and had a look inside one of the lockers. Sure enough, there was a pair of outdoors shoes in there. This was proof that her target was still at school.
(Noriko said there wasnt a meeting at the Rose Mansion today.)
Touko headed for the third-year cla.s.srooms.
She heard voices coming from inside the third-year pine cla.s.sroom. It seemed as though there were a few students still there.
"Pardon me."
Touko flung the door open, not waiting for a response to her knock.
Five girls turned to look at her simultaneously. Her target was one of them.
"Touko-chan &h.e.l.lip; "
The third-years inside were puzzled by this younger girl who had thrown open the door and then stopped moving, like a toy with its batteries removed. One of them came forward and stood in front of her. Ogasawara Sachiko-sama.
"Whatever is the matter?"
"We have to talk."
That was all she said, but Sachiko-sama obviously inferred something and gave a small nod. Then she briefly returned to the group of students, gathered her belongings, said, "Ill leave you here," and exited the cla.s.sroom.
"Yeah. Gokigenyou."
"Thanks for helping us out."
Sachiko-onee-samas cla.s.smates said their various farewells.
"Is that alright?"
Touko asked, worried that shed interrupted something. There had been sheets of paper spread across the desks, like theyd been working on something.
"Yeah, it was just the non-entrance-exam cleaning group. Wed already finished and were reading magazines."
As she said this, she shifted her school bag to the side and fastened her coat b.u.t.tons.
"I dont know what you want to talk about, but this doesnt seem like the right place, wouldnt you agree?"
Touko nodded slightly.
In winter, after most of the students had gone home for the day, the halls echoed more than expected. That said, they werent about to go back to the third-year pine cla.s.sroom, and the specialty cla.s.srooms were either locked or had people in them.
They walked out into the courtyard.
The air was cold, but with a coat it wasnt too cold to bear. More importantly, their voices wouldnt bounce off the walls or windows or ceilings, so they didnt have to worry about being overheard. The words they spoke here would be picked up by the wind and carried off into the sky.
"Have you been talking to Yumi-sama?"
Touko started by asking this question.
"About what?"
Sachiko-sama asked, sounding confused. But Touko ignored this and continued.
"Didnt you say something about how you werent going to interfere in Yumi-samas choice of a pet.i.t soeur?"
"Certainly, I may have said something along those lines."
Sachiko-onee-sama smiled as her long hair flowed in the breeze.
"And? What do you think Ive been saying to Yumi?"
She asked quietly, as though she had no idea whatsoever.
"Well."
Touko was struggling for words. Even though it related to herself, she had considerable resistance to saying it out loud.
"Just say it. Its obvious youve come to complain to me about something, but Yumi and I have all sorts of conversations every day. I wont know which one of those has apparently offended you if you dont tell me."
Now that shed said this there was no other option. Touko firmed her resolve and began to speak.
"About my birth."
"Your birth?"
For a moment, Sachiko-onee-samas expression changed. It was the look of someone who had just remembered something.
"There, I knew youd remember it."
Touko was convinced. Sachiko-onee-samas failure to respond didnt change that at all.
"So? When did you tell Yumi-sama?"
Was it just before Christmas, or even earlier than that? It probably wouldnt change the current situation, but Touko desperately wanted to know.
When did Yumi-sama start looking at her with pity? That was a very important question to Touko.
But Sachiko-onee-sama made no allusion to that. Instead, she repeated her question.
"What would I even tell Yumi about your birth?"
Acting like that at this point in the game? Annoyed, Touko spat it out.
"Dont play dumb. Obviously that Im not the Matsudairas child!"
The moment she heard this, Sachiko-onee-samas expression froze. Touko knew. This was surprise.
"Touko-chan &h.e.l.lip; youre not the baby that Mrs Matsudaira gave birth to?"
Those black pupils started back at her, unblinking. Touko put herself on guard.
"No way."
"Im afraid to say, this is the first Ive heard about this."
"Theres no way thats true."
She found it hard to believe that Sachiko-onee-sama hadnt heard about it.
Saionji or Ayanokouji or whoever knew about it three years ago. So how could the heiress to the Ogasawara family, who held the most power among their relatives and lived in Tokyo to boot, make it to this age without knowing about it?
But Touko had felt it earlier. Sachiko-onee-sama had been shocked by Toukos words. There was no way that was an act.
"Then why did you look like youd just remembered something before?"
Wasnt it strange? It was her first time hearing it, but she remembered something.
"I simply remembered Suguru-san asking some leading questions."
"Suguru-onii-sama &h.e.l.lip; ?"
Touko asked, and Sachiko-onee-sama looked up at the sky and laughed.
"Im sure he was trying to determine whether or not I knew. He asked me if I remembered anything from when you were born."
"And you said?"
"I told him I didnt remember. Thats the truth. I couldnt answer any more than that."
Her story was too concrete for an on-the-spot lie. Plus Suguru-onii-sama was given to asking leading questions.
"So then who was it?"
Suguru-onii-sama hadnt been talking to Yumi-sama. That much was obvious from their conversation the other day.
"Honestly, acting so high and mighty."
Sachiko-onee-sama muttered.
"My deepest apologies."
Touko humbly apologized. It had been a misunderstanding to think that Sachiko-onee-sama had leaked the details of her birth to Yumi-sama.
"Not to me. To Yumi."
Her muttered words were ice cold.
"I dont know whats happened between you and Yumi, but Im certain that Yumi knows nothing about your family situation. Even if she somehow found out, that wouldnt change her opinion of you one iota. As her onee-sama, I know that better than anyone."
Touko couldnt respond to that. No, at that moment, she couldnt even think.
She stood frozen to the spot, still unable to find any words. Sachiko-onee-sama looked straight into Toukos eyes for a short while, but then she finally looked away.
Perhaps she couldnt stand to look at Touko any longer. Or maybe she just caught sight of her own reflection in one of the school building windows.
Eventually, the corners of her lips crept upwards and she said:
"Even so, how sad for Yumi, whos only ever been thinking of you."
Unable to bear the weight of those words, Touko fell to her knees on the gra.s.s.
Just suppose that it had all been a misunderstanding - what should she do?
How could she take back those words that shed repeatedly hurled at Yumi-sama?
Sachiko-onee-samas indoor shoes departed from Toukos side. She could hear the crunching of the dry gra.s.s carried on the wind.
Sachiko-onee-sama had entered the school building. This was happening behind her so she couldnt confirm it with her eyes, but she could still tell.
Left all alone, Touko remained crouched in the courtyard.
Sachiko-onee-samas anger was understandable. Touko had wounded Yumi-samas pride, and that of her onee-sama.
So, obviously, she wouldnt want to stay with Touko.
But, at that moment, it pained Touko to be alone. She wanted someone, anyone, by her side.
On her own, she had no idea what she should do.
"One, two, three &h.e.l.lip; "
For now, she tried counting. That was the good luck charm that Yumi-sama had taught her, to calm herself.
"Eleven, twelve."
Maybe once shed counted to one hundred, shed have regained some composure.
She didnt know. So she thought shed give it a try.
Maybe "it" wouldnt find those hiding, when it opened its eyes after counting to one hundred.
(Eventually theyll get tired and no-one will chase after you.)
The words of Suguru-onii-sama intruded upon her counting.
Shed lashed out at anyone and everyone once she started suspecting them, so maybe no-one would ever want to be around her again.
"Thirty-eight &h.e.l.lip; thirty-nine."
At that moment, Touko was completely isolated.
Everyone came into the world alone. So she believed that humans were supposed to live on their own.
Soon after she was born, she was put in the care of her adoptive parents. As a result, shed made it to here. Humans were surprisingly tough.
"Forty-five."
But maybe she really was an incredibly weak creature.
Even as she tore apart the bonds tying her to others, one after the other, she found it intolerably lonely.
It was exactly like Suguru-onii-sama had said.
Even as she said she didnt believe it, she really wanted to believe - making light of those that chased her as she ran from one place to another.
So now that she was completely and utterly alone, that was just her paying for her own mistakes.
"Fifty-six."
n.o.body would complain if all the friends theyd been playing with had disappeared when they opened their eyes.
"Sixty-four."
Even so, she wouldnt know until shed finished counting. Until she opened her eyes, she wouldnt know if everyone had really vanished.
"Seventy."
As the numbers grew, Touko became scared of counting. When she reached one hundred, shed have to open her eyes.
When she opened her eyes, she would no doubt find that she was all alone in the school courtyard.
She was scared of counting.
But since shed started, she had to finish counting to 100.
"Eighty-one."
At that moment, Touko felt something on her shoulder.
A gentle warmth. Touko knew it was a human hand and she instinctively opened her eyes.
"Ah, sorry."
The owner of that hand was someone quite unexpected.
"I thought I shouldnt interfere, but I didnt know how long you were going to keep going and it was kind of an accident &h.e.l.lip; So, what happened?"
Smiling innocently at her was Noriko.
"How?"
Hadnt she gone home a while ago? Shed said there was a Buddhist TV show she wanted to watch, then happily left.
"It kept bugging me after we said goodbye. I got on the bus, but then got off after two stops and came back here. It felt like there was something you were going to say to me."
"What about your show?"
Touko looked at her watch and saw it was 2:05. There was no way Noriko could make it in time now.
"Dont worry about it. Its just TV."
Noriko said crisply.
"Talking to you is much more important."
Touko timidly touched her smiling friends hand.
"Noriko &h.e.l.lip; "
"Huh?"
"Noriko! Noriko! Noriko! Noriko!"
As she repeatedly called her name, Touko grasped Norikos hand tightly. After confirming it wasnt an illusion, the tears of relief came flooding out.
"Wh-what happened to you?"
Noriko was bewildered.
From her point of view, all shed done was call out to her friend who was crouched in the courtyard and apparently talking to herself. So she would have had no idea why Touko was crying.
Touko thanked Maria-sama for bringing Noriko back to her.
"Geez, Touko."
Astonishingly, Noriko squeezed back on Toukos hand. Touko redoubled her grip.
Indeed, she couldnt let go of that hand.
Noriko was hope.
As long as that hand was there, she could crawl her way back from the depths of despair.
She could still believe.
The cold wind whistled.
It would be okay.
She might still be able to fix things.
Yeah, that was it.
As she accepted the help of her friend and stood up, the soft sound of rustling came from within Toukos right pocket.