Happy Thought Hall Part 21
_a propos_ of a moral.
_Eleventhly._--A moral in a fable is like the hook in the bait.
_Moral_.--Take the bait ... and leave the hook.
_Twelfthly._--"The Devil," said Voltaire, "is at the bottom of Christianity. Without the Devil Christianity would not be."
Ah, but the Devil little thought this when he tempted Eve.
There is no particular moral to this. It does not require one.
_Thirteenthly._--The bad man who attends to the convenances of religious observance, only puts polish on muddy boots.
_Moral._--Clean your boots.
(Might add also, "take care of the puddles." Popgood and Groolly will make a fortune of such a Sunday book as I am getting together. Only it will take some time to compile two hundred pages of maxims and morals.)
_Fourteenthly._--Stars and pretty women at a ball don't show to advantage by daylight.
_Moral._--Go to bed early.
_Fifteenthly._--(_A pendant_). The Moon is pale from being up all night.
_Moral._--Same as preceding.
_Sixteenthly._--Marrying for Love is like digging for gold. It is to be hoped the speculation will succeed.
_Moral._--Love in haste: marry at leisure.
(Altogether, I fancy, I'm wandering from Sunday Meditations. I don't think these are the jottings of Marcus Aurelius.)
_Seventeenthly._--Here is something specially for Sunday:--
If you can't pay creditors, love them. It may not be exactly fulfilling the law of your country, but the sentiment is sublime and thoroughly Christian.
(This is a moral in itself. _Happy Thought._--Make a moral first and invent the fable. Good.)
_Eighteenthly_.--We are all so vain that we can't imagine eternal happiness too much for us. The reverse of the medal is unpalatable.
_Moral._--Be 'umble.
_Nineteenthly._--There are few men, if any, with whom it is possible to reason concerning either Love or Religion.
_Moral._--Don't try.
_Twentiethly._--Theological discussion generally comes in after dinner with the third bottle of wine.
_Moral._--Get to the fourth as quickly as possible.
_Twenty-onethly._--Life is a perpetual Epitaph.
_Moral._--Better than most epitaphs, because it's short. If you've got to write one remember this.
The last is so melancholy that I can only sit down and think. At present this will do for my Sunday Meditations.
[Ill.u.s.tration: THE MEDITATIONIST.]
CHAPTER XXII.
THE PROGRAMME--THE FARCE.
For some days Milburd, Mrs. Orby Frimmely, Cazell, Chilvern, and the Medfords have been working hard at a new piece.
The order of the evening is dinner for a few, then theatricals to amuse the many, then refreshments, then a dance, and finally supper.
The Signor is in great force.
"My dear," he says to his wife, "I shall do my lit-tel step. I shall valse."
"Mr. Regniati," returns Madame, severely, "you will do nothing of the sort."
This rather damps his ardour; and the fact of being unable to consult his nephew on the best means of obtaining his chance of doing his "lit-tel steps," still further depresses him.
He is perpetually looking into the theatre-room, and as often begging pardon, and being turned out.
The night arrives. I receive the guests as president, and I take the lady I don't want to in to dinner.
Dinner successful.
Madame rises at the proper moment; and after an hour, and the arrival of several carriages full, the gong summons us to the theatre.
Here Medford and myself hand round the programmes, and Miss Medford performs on the piano.
The programmes are in her writing too. Most neatly done.
_This evening will be represented, for the first time on any stage, an entirely new and original Musical Farce, ent.i.tled_
PENELOPE ANNE.
WRITTEN BY R. MILBURD, ESQ.
_Dramatis Personae._
DON JOSe JOHN BOXOS DE CABALLEROS Y } CARVALHOS Y REGALIAS DI SALAMANCA, } S. CAZELL.
generally known, and without familiarity } mentioned, as "JOHN BOX" }